IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large amount numbers of young adults compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situatuion outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #amount #numbers #adults #people #situatuion
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Nowadays, the population of a country includes
relatively
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a relatively
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 large number of
youngsters
 more than
oldage
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older
people
comparitively
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comparatively
. The advantages and disadvantages will be
overviwed
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overviewed
overview
 below. Other than advantages and disadvantages the actual truth is, young adults are
actully
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actually
 more than older
age
peoples
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people
show examples
. the advantage
i
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I
show examples
 am mentioning here is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngsters
 are more stronger than
oldage
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older
people
 .
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 the main area
i
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I
show examples
 am expressing here is that their activities are more attractive
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to the old
age
peoples
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people
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. If a
work
 has to be done by a human, the
work
 assigner will automatically prefer the younger one, because he eventually believes that the
work
 will be ultimately completed by the younger one . when we suddenly
realises
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realise
show examples
 the population of some country says , the amount of
oldage
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old age
people
are
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is
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 actually lesser than the
young
Correct quantifier usage
number of young
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 adults . It is
also
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 disadvantage . In some
situation
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situations
show examples
the
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apply
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youngsters
 can be more attractive than
oldage
Correct your spelling
older
people
 , but not in all situations. If
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
 has to be done immediately we ought to
asssign
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assign
 a young adult . But if
a
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apply
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work
 has to be done immediately and accurately without any flaw the
work
 assigner has to focus on the experience and the
cosistency
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consistency
 in
an
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a
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 particular working field ,
then
 he should choose an old
age
people
 absolutely . So the
comparision
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comparison
 of the population by
age
 group will meet the disadvantage by the leading number of
youngsters
 than
oldage
Correct your spelling
older
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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