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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or managing money) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #students #range #skills #school #car #maintenance #money #subjects #maths #physics
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In
this
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 contemporary world, technological
apportunities
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opportunities
 and self-employment become at the top level among others. There is an argument that essential practical
skills
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 like cleaning and repairing motor vehicles, cooking and barking should be learnt by
students
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 at the
school
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. I totally agree with
this
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 statement and
this
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 essay will explain it
further
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.
To begin
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 with, the
school
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 curriculum puts great pressure on teenagers because it has tremendous continuous assessment and
end-semester
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end-of-semester
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 examinations.
Students
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 are practised to learn from teacher-centred education, so developing additional
skills
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 may be a burdening factor for them.
Moreover
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, when they graduate from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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, more employers could judge them only by looking at the results of the main examinations,
such
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 as ordinary level examinations or advanced level examination results.
Consequently
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,
according to
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this
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, there is a barrier to declaring new
skills
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 in the
school
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 system, because it will overwhelm the
students
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. Despite having a few negative aspects of vocational technological
subjects
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, gathering technical experience can be highly beneficial to the young generation.
In addition
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 ,
although
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 higher education has great demand, all are unable to enter the universities. If they develop
another specific
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another specific skill
other specific skills
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skills
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 when
students
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 are in
school
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, vocational institutes will accept them.
For instance
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, a child has developed cooking techniques well,
after
Correct word choice
and after
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 she finishes
school
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 period, a well-known vocational campus offers her a valuable chef course free of charge.
Therefore
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, training non-curriculum
subjects
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secure
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secures
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 the new generation after they pass out to society and they have already adopted the essential requirement. Another remarkable factor is that well-trained student will succeed in their professional achievement as they have previous experience.
For example
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, some
students
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 have been migrating to another country. So, they may be isolated from their parents. If migrants adopt car repairing, cooking and banking, those
skills
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 will be predominant positive factors for their living.
Finally
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, I think
students
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 should
Add a missing verb
be expert
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expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
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 in vocational technology
subjects
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 which will be not a detrimental factor in the future In conclusion, getting additional experience may make the future pathways. Government and parents should be aware of introducing day-to-day
skills
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 to the pupils. Not only common
subjects
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 but
also
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 life
skills
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 are important.
Submitted by thiqut on

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Task Response
Make sure to present a clear opinion and justify it throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Use transition words appropriately.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary to include more varied and precise language.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure and grammar to reduce errors.
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