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Band 4.5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people aregue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #aregue #money #standards #earth
In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 state-of-the-art society , whether a plethora of money should be allocated
in
Change preposition
to
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 researching the universe or other fields that enhance people’s living standards is a highly debatable question . From my point of view , I have a tendency towards finding out more about
out
Correct your spelling
our
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space
due to
 enormous mysteries . It is an interesting point that we are not likely to live
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Earth in the next decades . It must
be acknowledge
Change the verb form
be acknowledged
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 that there are plenty of materials on other planets , which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 used for industry and new research on Earth . What is more , living conditions are getting worse and it is necessary to explore new
planet
Fix the agreement mistake
planets
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 to live in .
Hence
 , the
investments
Fix the agreement mistake
investment
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of
Change preposition
in
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 extraterrestrial
space
 is crucial
However
 , it is
also
 vital to concentrate on our mother planet and develop our living standards . It is believed that mother nature could be healed if we make a lot of effort into it. There are
also
 several countries
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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offering budgets for environmental protection, Take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Europe as an example , several countries have gained
a
Correct article usage
the
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 title of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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livable
county
Correct your spelling
country
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 there.
In contrast
, there are many ways to find an alternative planet in the
nearly
Change the word
near
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 future, and
rocket
Add an article
the rocket
a rocket
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 is going to depart to
universe
Add an article
the universe
a universe
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 with the aim of exploration .
Therefore
 ,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is
not
Correct word choice
important not
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 only important to improve living status , but
also
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
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 money on
space
 research Taking everything into account , investing money in
space
 could help humans succeed in exploring the universe
due to
 the fact that our
Correct your spelling
motherland
show examples
mother land
Correct your spelling
motherland
show examples
 can not exist longer

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coherence cohesion
The introduction should clearly state the writer's position on the topic and provide a thesis statement.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
lexical resource
Expand on vocabulary choices to improve lexical range.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance grammatical range.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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