IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#million #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
For the
last
 decade,
space
 investment has received a
crescedo
Correct your spelling
crescendo
 of both criticism and support. the writer contends that
money
 should be allocated to human daily issues
due to
 famine in some areas and the need to generate a well-educated generation, despite some
believes
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that dollars should be spent on
space
 for
further
 academic research. granted, one might argue that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 ought to
chanel
Correct your spelling
channel
money
 into universal research.
This
 is predicated on the assumption that by fully acknowledging
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
space
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 can one day evacuate to another planet to live, which effectively solves the problem of overpopulation occurring on Earth.
However
,
this
 line of reasoning is not sound as we, until now, do not understand
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half of our planet let alone explore new ones.
Such
 an approach seems to be for scientists' satisfaction only, but not for people's demand. There are more compelling reasons to extol the idea of improving living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 by using
money
 from
space
 research. Chief of these is to erase famine and malnutrition on Earth. With
this
 investment, life will be enhanced in those areas. Take South Africa as an example, where, 10.000 reliefs were supplied to unfortunate people by Russia,
now
Correct pronoun usage
which now
show examples
 solves the problems of harvest loss during drought
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
.
Moreover
, only when we invest
money
 in education
such
 as the provision of materials can young generations broaden their horizon and develop themselves holistically. in conclusion, for the reasons outlined above, it stands to reason that
money
 should be allocated to enhancing living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 rather than
space
 exploration.

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task response
Make sure to address all aspects of the given topic and provide a clear opinion. Your essay successfully presents a complete response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Some ideas could be better connected, and the flow of your arguments could be improved.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is good, but try to vary your word choice and include more specific and precise language.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is generally good, but watch out for minor errors in sentence structure and agreement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • scientific discoveries
  • astronomy
  • satellites
  • international collaboration
  • economic benefits
  • living standards
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • healthcare
  • poverty reduction
  • distribute funds
  • resource allocation
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