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Band 4

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue taht the money should be spent on improving living standard on earth. Do you agree or disagree.

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #taht #money #earth
An enormous amount of dollars has been spent on exploring space yearly.
Therefore
, many people think that
this
 money should be used to improve the living standard on our planet. I write
this
 essay to strongly agree with
this
 statement. First of all, Earth is facing
up with
Change preposition
apply
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many
problem
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problems
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such
 as climate change that leading to more extreme weather conditions, pandemics and wars. These issues cause a large damage
on
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to
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finances
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the finances
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 and
life
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lives
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 of people in many countries around the world. For
examples
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example
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, Covid-19 has triggered a global financial crisis
or
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and
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 the wars between Ukraine and
Russians
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Russia
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 have killed thousands of innocent citizens. If millions of dollars which
was
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were
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 spent on outer space study could be used to resolve those difficulties, the above hazards would never happen or if they do, it would only be
in
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on
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 a small scale. For these reasons, why would we have to pay money to solve things
that
is
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are
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 too far away
while
 the challenges
that
is
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are
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 in front of us can not settled adequately
.
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?
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 Another point to discuss is that human has not completely explored the entire planet. There are many places,
many
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and many
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 resources that humanity has neglected or did not have a suitable answer. For
instances
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instance
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,
North
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the North
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 Pole and Antarctica are still something new and scientists just have
a
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apply
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few
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little
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 information about these regions. What about the ocean, human has only discovered 5% of it which mean there are
abilities
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ability
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for
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apply
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them
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apply
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to boost the economy and knowledge which is leading to
Correct article usage
a higher
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higher
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a higher
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 living standard on Earth. In conclusion, spending money on outer space investigation can be a good way for human
being
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beings
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 to find a new home but I believe that there should be some
pratical
Correct your spelling
practical
 solutions like protecting the Earth.
This
 essay has enough pieces of evidence to show my agreement.
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on

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task response
Provide more comprehensive and well-developed ideas in support of your argument. Consider addressing counterarguments and providing a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language to enhance your arguments.
grammatical range
Work on the accuracy and complexity of your sentence structures and grammatical constructions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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