IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagrees ?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
A lot of money is used to explore space. It has been said
by
Change preposition
apply
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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that funding should
use
Wrong verb form
be used
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 to cause an improvement
living
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in living
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standards
.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement and will explain the reason why. One of
primary
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the primary
show examples
 reasons
as to
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apply
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why living
standards
 need to be raised money because social inequalities still exist around the world. We just focus on
further
target
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targets
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 and forget how the poor and disabled people live. More and more slums appear
as a result
in
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of
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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have
Wrong verb form
having
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 a
lots
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lot
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taxes
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of taxes
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,
fees
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and fees
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to
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for
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 them.
Moreover
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Moreover,
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 if we do not improve living
standards
 on Earth, there will be more unemployment and crime, which is
global
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a global
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 issue that governments still consider.
Another advantageous aspects
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Another advantageous aspect
Other advantageous aspects
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 of improving living
standards
 in our modern era
that
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is that
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 the nations will promote significantly.
This
 is because citizens have
sustain
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sustained
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career
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careers
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 and good
source
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sources
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 of revenue
lead
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leading
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 to GDP
will increase
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increasing
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 and authority
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
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 more opportunities to research galactic exploration. It is
further
plan
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planned
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 to build up the country.
Additionally
, if people have stable jobs, governments will not pay too much
intentions
Correct your spelling
attention
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 to living
standards
 and just concentrate on exploring space and natural resources In conclusion, governments should cause
an improvements
Correct the article-noun agreement
improvements
an improvement
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 in living
standards
instead
 of space exploration.
This
is clarify
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clarifies
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 that people will have a good living cost and permanent
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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,
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and global
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global
Correct word choice
and global
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 issues will decrease make
country will be
Verb problem
country's
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 peaceful and tranquil
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more varied and engaging.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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