Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Government should concentrate their resources on educating people about the risk they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#attention #disasters #earthquakes #floods #government #resources #people #risk #face #home #cost #lives

There is no denying the fact that certain fields are crucial in societies' growth and governments should pay university fees for students who study these subjects.

While

it is a commonly held belief that

this

educational policy brings numerous benefits, there is

also

an argument that it brings along certain drawbacks.

This

essay will analyse

this

topic from both points of view and express my opinion. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

question. On balance,

however

, I tend to believe that the advantages of

this

educational policy outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by fatemah221027 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically connected to the overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Include a clear thesis statement and summarise the main points in the introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Provide more supporting evidence or examples to strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Fully address all aspects of the given topic and clearly state your position.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are well-developed, clear, and relevant to the topic.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and demonstrate accurate grammar usage.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

93 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

headline-grabbing
disasters
natural disasters
media coverage
sensationalism
local issues
funding
executive resources
resource allocation
risk awareness
domestic fires
road safety
food storage
education initiatives
community engagement
local government
immediate disaster relief
long-term benefits
local risk mitigation

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Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Government should concentrate their resources on educating people about the risk they face nearer to home, which can cost far more lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Nowadays, many people prefer to rent a house rather than buying their house. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages