IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree ?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
It is often considered that the government should spend millions of dollars on exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 every year.
However
, some
inividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 disagree and
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 the
money
 on developing living standards on our
Earth
. Personally, I completely agree with
this
 stance. First of all, I strongly believe that it is
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
show examples
 to enhance living standards
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the world. There are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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percentages of the poverty
people
, regardless of
bid
Correct your spelling
big
show examples
 and small countries. They are
profound
Correct article usage
a profound
show examples
 lack of the
healthcares
Correct your spelling
healthcare
,
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
, accommodations, jobs and
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 in recent years.
Therefore
, the
governments
 have to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 about their
life
 and cost more
money
 to develop them, especially children. They need to spend
money
 to provide enough
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 for children immediately because the children will take over our future. The USA is the best example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 statement, each day, it has more than 500
people
 who are
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 and do not have enough
money
 to pay for their rent house,
food
Correct word choice
or food
show examples
 because of the economic crisis. Almost
people
Correct determiner usage
all people
show examples
 have to stay outside and hope to have a helping
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 their
governments
.
Secondly
, others argue that we should save
money
 and invest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 exploration because they believe in the near future, our
Earth
 will not have enough
space
 for us and it will be out of
control
Correct article usage
the control
show examples
 of the
governments
 when the population always increasing every day. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, they should pay our
money
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 research to have opportunities to approach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
. They
also
 allow
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 to move
Change preposition
to another
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
 and can
be decrease
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
 the proportions of homelessness on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth
. In 2020, a group of scientists in England had an experience to go to the moon by spaceship.
Consequently
, they had
suggestion
Add an article
a suggestion
show examples
 for us that we might have a chance to approach the moon and live there in the future. By the way, they had the research about the amount of oxygen outside the
earth
 and they
also
 took some animals which went
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
planets
. They really believe that they can have some opportunities to have new
life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
. Considering all of the above, I totally believe that the
governments
 still have to
Add a missing verb
be concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 and
cost
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 more
money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing the living standards on our
earth
, especially poverty
people
 because of the lack of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accommodations, healthcare,
Correct word choice
and educations
show examples
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
,….
As well
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, they complete nice
life
 on our
earth
, they have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
thinking
Change the verb form
to think
show examples
 about the
life
 on
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
 and other
planets
.

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coherence cohesion
Make your position clear in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise words.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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