IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree ?

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It is often considered that the government should spend millions of dollars on exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 every year.
However
Linking Words
, some
inividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 disagree and
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
to spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 the
money
Use synonyms
 on developing living standards on our
Earth
Use synonyms
. Personally, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 stance. First of all, I strongly believe that it is
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
show examples
 to enhance living standards
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the world. There are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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large
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
percentages of the poverty
people
Use synonyms
, regardless of
bid
Correct your spelling
big
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 and small countries. They are
profound
Correct article usage
a profound
show examples
 lack of the
healthcares
Correct your spelling
healthcare
,
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
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, accommodations, jobs and
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 in recent years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
governments
Use synonyms
 have to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 about their
life
Use synonyms
 and cost more
money
Use synonyms
 to develop them, especially children. They need to spend
money
Use synonyms
 to provide enough
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 for children immediately because the children will take over our future. The USA is the best example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement, each day, it has more than 500
people
Use synonyms
 who are
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 and do not have enough
money
Use synonyms
 to pay for their rent house,
food
Correct word choice
or food
show examples
 because of the economic crisis. Almost
Use synonyms
people
Correct determiner usage
all people
show examples
 have to stay outside and hope to have a helping
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 their
governments
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, others argue that we should save
money
Use synonyms
 and invest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 exploration because they believe in the near future, our
Earth
Use synonyms
 will not have enough
space
Use synonyms
 for us and it will be out of
control
Correct article usage
the control
show examples
 of the
governments
Use synonyms
 when the population always increasing every day. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, they should pay our
money
Use synonyms
 for
the
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apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 research to have opportunities to approach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other
planets
Use synonyms
. They
also
Linking Words
 allow
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to move
Change preposition
to another
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another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
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planets
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 and can
be decrease
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
 the proportions of homelessness on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Earth
Use synonyms
. In 2020, a group of scientists in England had an experience to go to the moon by spaceship.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they had
suggestion
Add an article
a suggestion
show examples
 for us that we might have a chance to approach the moon and live there in the future. By the way, they had the research about the amount of oxygen outside the
earth
Use synonyms
 and they
also
Linking Words
 took some animals which went
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
planets
Use synonyms
. They really believe that they can have some opportunities to have new
life
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
Use synonyms
. Considering all of the above, I totally believe that the
governments
Use synonyms
 still have to
Add a missing verb
be concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 and
cost
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 more
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing the living standards on our
earth
Use synonyms
, especially poverty
people
Use synonyms
 because of the lack of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accommodations, healthcare,
Correct word choice
and educations
show examples
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
,….
As well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, they complete nice
life
Use synonyms
 on our
earth
Use synonyms
, they have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
thinking
Change the verb form
to think
show examples
 about the
life
Use synonyms
 on
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
 and other
planets
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Make your position clear in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise words.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
What to do next:
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