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Band 5

million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree ?

#million #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
The
Correct article usage
A
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amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
people
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
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 that the authority should spend property on improving the quality of
life
 on
Earth
 rather than spend on exploring space. It is the opinion of
this
 writer that the
money
 used for space exploration is suitable, because of the new planet for humans and to predict the threat to
Earth
 from the universe. It must be understood that the
life
 on
Earth
 is not an eternity.
According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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research from many scientists,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Earth
 is more than 7.5 billion years which mean that if we do not find another planet ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human can be extinct.
Also
, there are much
of
Change preposition
apply
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time to find that one, so the government are spending
money
 on aerospace to prevent the extinction of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human.
Further
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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if they can explore that new one before the destruction of the
Earth
, they can reduce the variety of populations in many countries. It can be more
life
 spaces, more materials for
people
 to live and to improve civilization. It cannot denied that there are
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 more threats to the
Earth
 from outer space. There are some like meteorites, collisions with other planets or black holes which can destroy or attack the
Earth
 whenever they want and can have huge negative effects on the
Earth
's
life
. With the support from technology and scientists,
people
 can predict
that
Correct word choice
apply
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problems and maybe they can prevent or rescue the
Earth
. In that case of that things,
people
 cannot do that without the spent of
money
 from the government. In conclusion, it is necessary for the government to spend
money
 to explore the universe because of the new
life
 for individuals and
also
 predict the destruction of the
Earth
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and coherence of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • scientific discoveries
  • astronomy
  • satellites
  • international collaboration
  • economic benefits
  • living standards
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • healthcare
  • poverty reduction
  • distribute funds
  • resource allocation
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