IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world. What are the reasons for this and how can people learn more about the natural world?

#people #importance #world
In modern times, the majority of the population is not well-acknowledged about the significance of the natural
world
.
This
 essay aims to discuss the causes of
this
 issue and suggest several solutions. First and foremost, the rapid development of technology and urbanization has greatly separated humanity from
nature
. Concerning the former, the introduction of numerous digital devices that can provide detailed videos and images of the wilderness at the click of a button has virtually eliminated people’s desire to experience the outside natural
world
.
Similarly
, governments worldwide are continuously expanding urban areas through constant deforestation, which directly destroys natural regions that are more accessible to citizens to sight-see and study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Second of all, traditional academic institutions seldom include knowledge regarding
nature
 in their curriculums,
hence
 students are typically poorly informed of the
world
 of
nature
 and its significant impacts on mankind. Despite the ever-escalating severity of
this
 issue, it is arguably soluble with suitable measures.
Firstly
, by establishing public awareness campaigns, the government could partially raise the population’s understanding of
nature
, thereby triggering citizens’ interest in self-learning about the natural
world
.
Secondly
,
nature
 should be educated in schools to firmly ingrain its significance in students. These acts can potentially lay the foundation for an eco-friendly nation,
thus
 contributing to the betterment of the environment worldwide.
For instance
, Finland, where pupils study
nature
 as a separate subject, is one of the least polluted countries on the planet. To summarize,
although
 modern-day humanity’s understanding of
nature
’s importance is gradually diminishing, applying the aforementioned methods could considerably untangle
this
 problem.
Submitted by nghjnguyendanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are fully addressed and that the essay maintains a clear focus on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas in a more sequential and coherent manner.
Lexical Resource
Enrich the vocabulary by using a wider range of words and more nuanced expressions.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and utilize a variety of grammatical structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: