In many countries,people are now living longer than ever before .Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments.Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages
It is true that humans
are existing
ages than previously.Wrong verb form
exist
However
it is argued that the older generation creates issues for the country Add a comma
However,
whereas
, some people
think that there are advantages from the ageing population
to the nation.In my point of view, the disadvantages of having an ageing population
outweigh the advantages.
On the one hand, the ageing population
may create problems for the government.When considering about
the elder Change preposition
apply
people
they are unable to do a job
.Therefore
the government should provide expenses and goods for their survival.In fact, Sri Lanka is providing funds for elder people
who are older than 60 as a donation.Other than that there is a huge tendency to become unhealthy when getting older.Therefore
,the country should provide medicine and also
healthcare for them.It Rephrase
apply
also
make
a cost for the nation.Change the verb form
makes
Further
, population
density is a huge concern today.We are lacking spaces to live due
to the increment of Change preposition
in due
population
.Elderly people
make big
percentage of the human density.
Add an article
a big
On the other hand
,there are lots of benefits from elder people
to the
society.Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
they always help to
their children by taking care of their grandkids.Change preposition
apply
Then
it is easy for them to manage day to day
life other than searching for daycare centers.Add a hyphen
day-to-day
Secondly
we can learn about Add a comma
Secondly,
the
society by listening to Correct article usage
apply
the
elder Correct article usage
apply
people
because they have life experiences than
us.It is a good trend to keep society precious.Change preposition
as
Finally
, I believe that they can do a job
though they are old by age.
There are plenty of opportunities for such
people
other than vain their valuable time.They can search for a councelling
Correct your spelling
counselling
job
,online job
and own business etc.
As a conclusion,I think that the disadvantages of having an ageing people
outweigh the advantages.Because the government is bearing lots of expenses on behalf of elder people
in my country.Submitted by chamodimadushika2223 on
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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the task prompt in your essay. You have discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, which is good. However, try to provide a more balanced evaluation instead of leaning too much towards one side.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay shows some coherence and cohesion with a logical structure. However, there are some areas where the connection between ideas can be improved. Make sure to use transitional phrases and link your ideas more effectively to enhance the flow of your essay.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource. However, try to use a wider range of vocabulary to add variety and sophistication to your writing. Additionally, make sure to use appropriate collocations and idiomatic expressions where possible.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is generally accurate with only a few errors. However, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to avoid any inconsistencies or confusion. Additionally, try to use complex sentence structures and vary your sentence length to showcase a wider range of grammatical structures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.