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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that children should spend all of their fee time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments both sides, and say which side you personally support.

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Parents are the
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who always support their
children
Use synonyms
. There is an argument that in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their
families
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are some that
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 to object
it
Change preposition
to it
show examples
. In most cases,
children
Use synonyms
 always seek support from their parents or seniors in their
families
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, In
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
, younger
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 mostly look up to the older
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 in their
families
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
 is because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 teaching that they have been
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 since young and
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make them feel comfortable in sharing their concern
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
families
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is the main
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that
children
Use synonyms
 should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
 with their
families
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because they are dependable and able to provide
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
 to the younger
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, I believe that it is not wrong for them to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 with their relatives. Outside family circle can be considered as an important aspect to ensure their future.
for example
Linking Words
Change preposition
apply
show examples
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having wide networking which will make their career path greater.
This
Linking Words
 is the reason why some people believe
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 rather
just
Change preposition
than just
show examples
minggling
Correct your spelling
mingling
 with their
families
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 should
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
 building networking.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 might be able
obtain
Add the particle
to obtain
show examples
 more
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from
outsider
Fix the agreement mistake
outsiders
show examples
 that might be
beneficials
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for them in the future.
However
Linking Words
, in terms of trust,
families
Use synonyms
 are still more trusting in terms of providing guidance rather than outsiders. It can not be said that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only spending
time
Use synonyms
 with relatives is just wasting
time
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 because they
also
Linking Words
 can be
source
Add an article
a source
the source
show examples
 of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 dependable and
trustable
Correct word choice
trustworthy
show examples
.
therefore
Linking Words
, I
feel
Verb problem
apply
show examples
disagree with the statement that it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
bad
Change the article
a bad
show examples
 idea to spend
time
Use synonyms
 with
families
Use synonyms
. In Conclusion,
children
Use synonyms
 will always seek guidance from their
families
Use synonyms
 first
due to
Linking Words
 the trust that
been
Add a missing verb
has been
show examples
 obtained since they have grown up.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is not a bad thing for them
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
 with
families
Use synonyms
 .

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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