some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With the advancement of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology smartphone is

Change the article

show examples

available source for everyone.People

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that some

children

Use synonyms

spend a lot of

time

Use synonyms

on their smartphones.I think that it is a negative development and

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the advantages of smartphones towards

children

Use synonyms

Capitalize word

show examples

will be discussed

further

Linking Words

through the given paragraphs. There is a huge concern when

children

Use synonyms

spend hours

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

on their

mobilephones

Correct your spelling

mobile phones

Due to

Linking Words

the

COVID 19

Add a hyphen

COVID-19

show examples

pandemic

Add a comma

pandemic,

show examples

students have been given a mobile phone to cover their school activities and

also

Linking Words

extra class work.

Children

Use synonyms

easily can be addicted to

such

Linking Words

a device.

Then

Linking Words

it is very hard to release them from the electronic device.Mobile phones can reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family bonds and relationships

while

Linking Words

catching

children

Use synonyms

's attraction.Not only that

children

Use synonyms

may suffer from severe eye diseases.

Student

Fix the agreement mistake

Students

show examples

can

acessess

Correct your spelling

access

lot

Correct article usage

a lot

show examples

of social media platforms like

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

and

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

.They can build unnecessary relationships and can be

frauden

Correct your spelling

fraud

frauded

fraudulent

by someone else.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,there are lots of

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

from mobile phones. Student can learn easily and can save their

time

Use synonyms

for physical

classes

Use synonyms

. There are

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of online platforms that students can use to improve their knowledge.

Infact

Correct your spelling

In fact

by using u tube it is easy to learn and concentrate on difficult theories. Other than that, parents can save their

time

Use synonyms

by allowing

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

go to online

classes

Use synonyms

. Online

classes

Use synonyms

and lessons are much more

cheeper

Correct your spelling

cheaper

than that of physical

classes

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

parents can save money to perform any other thing.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

no need to provide extra learning materials

such

Linking Words

tutes

Correct your spelling

tubes

and books. Students can store their learning materials

Change preposition

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

think spending a massive

time

Use synonyms

with

smartphone

Correct article usage

a smartphone

show examples

definitely

bring

Verb problem

has

show examples

a negative impact

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

society.

Hence

Linking Words

, parents should always take care of their

children

Use synonyms

to protect them.

Aforementioned

Correct article usage

The aforementioned

show examples

facts may support

Linking Words

to conclude

Verb problem

apply

show examples

my opinion.

Submitted by chamodimadushika2223 on Mon Oct 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more coherent manner, using clear topic sentences for each paragraph.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary range and use more precise and varied vocabulary.

grammatical range

Improve your sentence structure by using a variety of complex and compound sentences.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?
The debate on whether students should take a year off after completing school is ongoing. While I acknowledge that a gap year offers substantial advantages for students, I contend that it also poses potential risks to their academic success. In this essay, I will elaborate on both the merits and drawbacks associated with taking this time off.
7
band
In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweight disadvantages?
Family tradition is one of the matters that varies in different cultures and countries. In some countries, it is totally acceptable for the society that adult children live with their parents, while in other cultures it is the opposite. In recent years, a trend has started among adults that shows their increasing tendency towards living with their parents even after their graduation and while they are working. The question that arises here is, whether the merits of this behaviour outweigh the demerits or not. In this essay, I am going to explore it and also, elaborate on my own viewpoint.
6
band
In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?
It is true that, these days, people from the countryside want to move to the city for better opportunities.
7.5
band
In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are controversial perspectives sparking a debate over the leading way of genders. While some hold a strong view that almost all leaders whose gender is male tend to lead to violence-packed actions and wars, the opposite makes a statement that our world will be better if women take political empowerment. From my perspective, while the former is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of the latter.
6
band
Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? 1)Tiredness 2)Dark circles
These days, as societies are getting progressive, problems like lack of sleep pop up in people's lives.

some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweight disadvantages?

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

In the past, many male leaders have led our society to conflicts and violence. The world would be better governed and more peaceful if it was ruled by women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? 1)Tiredness 2)Dark circles