some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

With the advancement of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology smartphone is

Change the article

show examples

available source for everyone.People

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that some

children

spend a lot of

time

on their smartphones.I think that it is a negative development and

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the advantages of smartphones towards

children

Capitalize word

show examples

will be discussed

further

through the given paragraphs. There is a huge concern when

children

spend hours

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

on their

mobilephones

Correct your spelling

mobile phones

Due to

the

COVID 19

Add a hyphen

COVID-19

show examples

pandemic

Add a comma

pandemic,

show examples

students have been given a mobile phone to cover their school activities and

also

extra class work.

Children

easily can be addicted to

such

a device.

Then

it is very hard to release them from the electronic device.Mobile phones can reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family bonds and relationships

while

catching

children

's attraction.Not only that

children

may suffer from severe eye diseases.

Student

Fix the agreement mistake

Students

show examples

can

acessess

Correct your spelling

access

lot

Correct article usage

a lot

show examples

of social media platforms like

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

and

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

.They can build unnecessary relationships and can be

frauden

Correct your spelling

fraud

frauded

fraudulent

by someone else.

On the other hand

,there are lots of

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

from mobile phones. Student can learn easily and can save their

time

for physical

classes

. There are

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of online platforms that students can use to improve their knowledge.

Infact

Correct your spelling

In fact

by using u tube it is easy to learn and concentrate on difficult theories. Other than that, parents can save their

time

by allowing

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

go to online

classes

. Online

classes

and lessons are much more

cheeper

Correct your spelling

cheaper

than that of physical

classes

Hence

parents can save money to perform any other thing.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

no need to provide extra learning materials

such

tutes

Correct your spelling

tubes

and books. Students can store their learning materials

Change preposition

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

To conclude

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

think spending a massive

time

with

smartphone

Correct article usage

a smartphone

show examples

definitely

bring

Verb problem

has

show examples

a negative impact

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

as well as

society.

Hence

, parents should always take care of their

children

to protect them.

Aforementioned

Correct article usage

The aforementioned

show examples

facts may support

to conclude

Verb problem

apply

show examples

my opinion.

Submitted by chamodimadushika2223 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more coherent manner, using clear topic sentences for each paragraph.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary range and use more precise and varied vocabulary.

grammatical range

Improve your sentence structure by using a variety of complex and compound sentences.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

many university students choose the Internet as their main source of educational research. what are the advantages and disadvantages of the issue?

In many countries, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening. What problems does this cause and what solutions can you suggest?

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments, not private companies should take the responsibility to conduct scientific research. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Should governments take the responsibility of conducting scientific research?