some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more important than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's time to work is more inportant? discuss both view and give ur own opinion

#people #time #activities #work #inportant #ur

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Some individuals argue that focusing on working is more vital.

However

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, there is a more persuasive argument that it is crucial to spend

time

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with family affairs. In

this

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essay, I am going to examine

this

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question from both points of view and

then

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explain why I agree with the former group. On the one hand, some citizens believe that spending an amount of

time

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can make sustainable money for families.

This

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is because when people work overtime, they can earn more money

as well as

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have an opportunity to get a promotion with higher salaries, which means that raising families becomes easier. Their kid can live in good conditions and facilities.

On the other hand

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, I believe that family activities should be devoted to building a bond relationship with their members. When parents play with their kids, they can become more happy and reduce stress from their work, which leads them to stick together.

For example

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, going on a picnic, which is an exciting and fun activity for the family when they all have spare

time

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. In

this

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activity, all members of the family can do a lot of things,

such

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as cooking and taking the family picture with breathtaking views.

Thus

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, they will capture a lot of valuable memories.

To sum up

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, both arguments have their merits.

While

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it is apparent that investing

time

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to work is a significant factor in employee's careers, it is undeniable that individuals ought to primarily concentrate on their families to have meaningful

time

Use synonyms

with each other.

Submitted by thinhhppro123 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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task response

Ensure that you fully address the prompt and provide a clear opinion on which is more important: spending time with family or working.

coherence cohesion

Continue to develop your logical structure by organizing your ideas in a cohesive manner throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and effectively.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar to ensure clear and accurate communication of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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some people say that devoting one's time to family activities is more important than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's time to work is more inportant? discuss both view and give ur own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

When designing a building, the most important factor is the intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior manager to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.