IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Art and music classes should not be mandatory at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#art #music #classes #school
It is a common belief that
art
 and
music
 lessons should not be compulsory at educational institutions.
However
, I partly agree that these courses encourage student’s creativity and provide chances to lighten stress
as well as
 that
students
 should have the freedom to choose their educational path. Mandatory
classes
 may hinder
this
 freedom. On the one hand,
art
 and
music
education
 should not be forced upon every student. Not all
students
 are passionate about
art
 and
music
. Forcing them to take these
classes
 may lead to a lack of interest and motivation. Learners who are not interested in these subjects may not perform well in them, which could negatively impact their
overall
 school results.
On the other hand
,
art
 and
music
classes
 provide
students
 with a platform to express their creativity. These subjects encourage imagination, allowing
students
 to explore different forms of artistic expression. Attending
art
 and
music
 lessons significantly improves their
education
 performance and helps them achieve their purposes more efficiently at school. Studies have shown that exposure to
art
 and
music
 improves cognitive skills
such
 as problem-solving, critical thinking, and spatial reasoning, which benefit their creative processes.
Otherwise
, there are great opportunities for learners to promote their emotional well-being
as well as
 to relieve stress. Engaging in creative activities can positively impact mental health.
Art
 and
music
 allow
students
 to express emotions, reduce stress, and enhance
overall
 well-being.
For instance
, scholars participating in
art
 and
music
 courses are more successful and productive in terms of their educational scores and happiness than those who did not
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in these lessons.
To sum up
,
art
 and
music
education
 foster creativity and help
students
 be less stressed. Schools
also
 should recognize their importance and consider a flexible approach that allows
students
 to choose
while
 maintaining a holistic curriculum to ensure a well-rounded
education
 for all. For these reasons,
it is clear that
 a student’s academic achievement and interpersonal development are affected more by attending these
classes
.
Submitted by thinhhppro123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your position on the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language.
grammatical range
Make sure to use a variety of complex sentence structures and demonstrate control over grammar and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: