“Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.”

“Sharing
information
is
actual
Add an article
an actual
show examples
issue in our world where it has
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
influence on
people
. There are various spheres of our life where
information
is more or less important for
people
working there
on out of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
some
people
consider that it is good to
share
information
while
others think in
opposite
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the opposite
show examples
way.
For example
, practically all scientists are glad to
share
information
with ordinary
people
or
other scientist
Change the wording
another scientist
other scientists
show examples
. There is no competition in
this
sphere. Sometimes it is bad for
Correct article usage
the govenment
show examples
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
share
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
secret
information
with international
spy
Fix the agreement mistake
spies
show examples
but it will not hurt
information
. There are some simple rules in
academic
Add an article
the academic
show examples
world which
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
informational sources between
people
. If
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
is interested in theme
discussing
Replace the word
discussion
show examples
with you and you are ready to keep talking
then
the person gives you all
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
he knows for free.
On the other hand
, if the person knows much and he knows that you can not give him actual or new
information
then
he will
share
information
with you just for money.
For example
. student
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
for his learning
while
two students can cooperate and
share
information
with each other. It is
obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
that sharing
information
in
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
world can
Add a missing verb
be followes
show examples
followes
Correct your spelling
followed
by releases. There is large competition and it may
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
much costs for companies. Companies
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
their profit every day because
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
can not keep
silence
Replace the word
silent
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
IT companies.
To sum up
all
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
it is
neccessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
to say that there are some spheres in which sharing
information
is a crime. In my opinion, in many
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
information
can be too important or
sharing
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
at all.”
Submitted by x1204350549 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay clearly addresses all aspects of the given prompt and presents a balanced discussion of both views.
coherence cohesion
Improve the overall organization and coherence of your essay by following a logical structure. Include clear introductions and conclusions to each paragraph.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more impressive and varied. Use synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Work on improving the accuracy of your grammar and sentence structure. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence formation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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