Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?
Technological advancements have become one of the most inevitable aspects of one's life. Nowadays, it is quite impossible to live without it. It
is commonly believes
that Change the verb form
is commonly believed
students
are always depending Change preposition
on gadget
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
such
as computer
. In my opinion, it is attributed to numerous reasons behind it. Fix the agreement mistake
computers
However
, this
issue can be solved in different ways.
Currently, teenagers are widely using computers
not only for the
studies, but for many other activities. Change the word
their
Firstly
, many of them purely
addicted to games through Add a missing verb
are purely
computers
. As a result
, they are forced to spend more and more time
on computers
, which is surely inappropriate for them. Secondly
, when the computers
coupled
with
Change preposition
apply
internet
, it leads to Add an article
the internet
investe
great amount of Correct your spelling
invest
time
to
it. Change preposition
in
For instance
, if there is enough internet and a better system, they could utilise a whole day for login to social media platforms, such
as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. On the other hand
, computers
can be used as a study methods
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
method
On the other hand
, there has
always been solutions for every Change the verb form
have
problems
. Change to a singular noun
problem
Initially
, parents and teachers play a key role bring
up children. Wrong verb form
in bringing
Therefore
, they should control the pupils from over usage of games. For example
, after students
study time
, allocate
a curtain Wrong verb form
allocating
time
for gaming activities would make a great impact on computer addiction. Moreover
, awareness about the
education is Correct article usage
apply
also
a
best method of Change the article
the
prevention
Replace the word
preventing
of
using plenty of Change preposition
apply
time
in
Change preposition
on
Add an article
the computer
computer
. Fix the agreement mistake
computers
In addition
to that, authorities should introduce some restriction
on Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
the
social media platforms, which Correct article usage
apply
helps
Wrong verb form
would help
new
Correct article usage
the new
generation's
to reduce Change noun form
generation
its
usage.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
their
although
there are a number of causes of students
who always depend on computers
, the problem can effectively
resolved. I would argue thatAdd a missing verb
be effectively
,
parents and Remove the comma
apply
government
must take Correct article usage
the government
initiative
to reduce the addiction Correct article usage
the initiative
on
Change preposition
to
computers
among students
, rather they must use these gadgets for studies only. Not for the game or entertainment.Submitted by shahinka.687 on
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task response
The essay needs to address all parts of the prompt and provide a clear and comprehensive response to the topic. Make sure to discuss both the problems associated with reliance on computers and the possible solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, the essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion. However, there are areas that can be improved. The logical structure could be strengthened by organizing the ideas more effectively and providing clearer connections between them. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively developed to provide a stronger overall structure to the essay.
lexical resource
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inconsistent word choice and repetitive use of certain phrases. To improve the lexical resource, aim to use more varied and precise vocabulary throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to word forms and word collocations.
grammatical range
While the essay demonstrates a basic control of grammar, there are several errors that affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. Review the use of verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structures to improve the grammatical range and accuracy.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...