IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The two given pie charts present percent of employment pattern in Great Britain for 1992.

The two given pie charts present percent of employment pattern in Great Britain for 1992.
The two given pie charts present
percent
Correct your spelling
the percentage
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 of employment
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
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 in Great Britain for 1992. Workers were separated by their sex and occupation and their field of activity was divided
in
Change the preposition
into
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 two types
as
Change preposition
apply
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manual and non-manual. Nearly
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
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 of male employees worked in
managerial
Add an article
the managerial
a managerial
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 and professional
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 which is more than females for an insignificant amount.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 in clerical or related
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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area
Add a comma
area,
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 there are five times more women than men. Despite
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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differences
Add a comma
differences,
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 other spheres are quite the same with distinction in 1 to 3
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
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.
According to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the diagram
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diagram
Add a comma
diagram,
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 it is explicitly observed that
female
Correct article usage
the female
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 population preferred requiring mental effort,
whereas
Linking Words
 males were more inclined towards physical effort.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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