ome people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
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A group of individuals present the idea that those youngsters who are allowed to make their own decisions on daily matters
,
are prone to become complacent, and self-satisfied. Other people believe that it is crucial for them to opt for the virtues like what to wear, and what to eat. I fiercelyRemove the comma
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,
agree with the latter opinion, and in Remove the comma
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this
essay, I’m going to discuss both points of view, deeply.
On the one hand, kids who have the freedom of deciding, become more independent from early ages,
and come to realize that they are responsible for their own actions. Remove the comma
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This
process,
leads to adolescents, who don’t blame other humans for their own decisions. Remove the comma
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In addition
to this
, when kids pick something among the other options, it aids them to examine the other alternatives,
and try to imagine another hypothesis. Remove the comma
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For instance
, what happens if I choose this
meal over another one.
The aforementioned procedureChange the punctuation
?
,
boosts the cognitive functions of the youngsters.
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On the other hand
, there is another crowd, who think this
is more disadvantageous than advantageous, because this
perspective, results in arrogant adults, who don’t consider other people while
choosing, and they only ponder their own pros and cons. I strongly disagree with this
belief because I don’t see this
process this
way. I assume, a
teenager who is indulged, and only pleased with oneself, is stems from another method of nurturing. It is the consequence of parents, who act like their kid is the only one on earth. These adults are those kids, whose parents always put their needs Correct word choice
that a
first,
and they’ve never tasted unsatisfactory.
To put it in a nutshell, giving children an opportunity to pick, is so important, and can affect their adulthood life too. It builds so many vital characteristics in their personality, and they will be confident as a grown human.Submitted by mehrasa.elahian on
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task response
Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt and fully develop your ideas. Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay has a clear logical structure. However, try to make your transitions between ideas smoother, and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary usage is good and varied. However, work on using more precise and academic vocabulary where appropriate.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is strong with only minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use proper punctuation throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?