School children should be required to learn a third language other than English. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
time
, it is necessary for students to learn a Fix the agreement mistake
times
third
language
besides
studying English
and mother
tongue. From my perspective, the benefits of Correct pronoun usage
their mother
this
trend outweigh its drawbacks.
On the one hand, one significant disadvantage of learning a third
language
is that this
can add burden
on young learners. Correct article usage
a burden
This
can be explained by the fact that nowadays, it is argued that children already have faced up to
a heavy academic workload at school, Change preposition
apply
then
take some English
extra classes, so the problem of adding foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
language
could lead to stress and exhaustion.
On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that the aforementioned advantages are at the expense of greater disadvantages. The tip advantage is that they can have more opportunities to have well-paid jobs. This
can be explained by the fact that more companies nowadays have difficult requirements that if another person want
to work at their companies, they have to have a Change the verb form
wants
third
language
besides
English
and mother tongue. Thus
, people who have more than two languages will always be the top choice of them. According to
a recent survey by a large number of Australian researchers, more than 65% of juveniles are employed in famous and big company
because of having a Fix the agreement mistake
companies
third
language
. Another one is that it will help them communicate easily when traveling
. Change the spelling
travelling
This
can be understood by the fact that when they visit to
another country if the residents there don’t have sufficient intellectual capabilities Remove the preposition
apply
about
Change preposition
in
English
, you
can use a Correct pronoun usage
they
third
language
to contact with
them. It is easier for them to understand what you Change preposition
apply
talk
. Verb problem
say
For example
, once
when I Rephrase
apply
travel
to India, and people there Wrong verb form
travelled
don’t
know Wrong verb form
didn’t
about
Change preposition
apply
English
and
I used to use their Correct word choice
apply
language
to contact with
them about buying some fruits and vegetables and Change preposition
apply
this
helped them understand easily and sell exactly what I want
.
In conclusion, from all the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that the merits of Wrong verb form
wanted
this
issue are more considerable than its drawbacks.Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction is too brief and lacks a clear thesis statement. It would be better to provide a brief overview of the topic and clearly state your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but some ideas are presented in a disorganized manner. It would be beneficial to use paragraphs to separate different ideas and provide a clear progression of thoughts throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with relevant examples, such as the impact on job opportunities and the ease of communication while traveling. Well done.
task achievement
The response to the task is complete, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of learning a third language. However, the conclusion is too brief and needs to be expanded to summarize the main points and provide a final evaluation.
lexical resource
The ideas are generally clear and comprehensible, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed or lack clarity. It would be beneficial to pay attention to sentence structure and precision of language.
grammatical range
There are several errors in grammar, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and word order. It is important to review grammar rules and practice sentence structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.