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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Europe in 2000.

The charts show the info about the use of Internet in five countries in Europe in 2000.
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The charts give the number of
internet
Use synonyms
 usage
as well as
Linking Words
 the mean personal expenditure on online shopping within five European countries. Generally, Sweden represents the highest population using the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the UK spends most of its money purchasing stuff through the mentioned platform. In terms of
internet
Use synonyms
 usage, 35% of Sweden people use the
internet
Use synonyms
, followed by the UK at two in five. The others in the cohort, except Spain, associate their life with the
internet
Use synonyms
 by the range hovering around a tenth to 15%. Spain,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, spends only a mere 5% on the world wide web.
In addition
Linking Words
, each person in Sweden allocates 76
euros
Use synonyms
 on average for online shopping, which is smaller than the UK and dedicates their money to purchasing things through the world wide
web
Capitalize word
Web
show examples
 87
euros
Use synonyms
. France and Germany
also
Linking Words
 spend their money on personal shopping experiences 57
euros
Use synonyms
 and 46
euros
Use synonyms
 per person respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,10
euros
Use synonyms
 is typically spent by Spain on
such
Linking Words
 expenditure.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, euros with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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