Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Actors are mostly known for their rich lifestyle
instead
Linking Words
of their talent and some young generations see them as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
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models
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. I do believe that
this
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can be dangerous for
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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who
easily
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are easily
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influenced by them, especially when they only look up to the materialistic aspects only. First and foremost, young people may prioritize shallow goals rather than pursuing personal growth and meaningful achievements. It is important to emphasize the value of hard
work
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, dedication, and intellectual pursuits. Celebrities should be encouraged to use their
plarform
Correct your spelling
platform
to make a positive impact and promote meaningful achievements.
For instance
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, they can share their story of how to achieve something rather than
show-off
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show off
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their cars or state-of-the-art
gadget
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gadgets
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. By
this
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inspirational story, it is expected that the youngster will be motivated.
Secondly
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, parents and educators should play a significant role in guiding young generations towards the right role models. Encouraging them to look up to individuals who have made a difference in the world can inspire them to reach their full potential. As an example,
teacher
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the teacher
a teacher
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can introduce a famous person
such
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as Steve Jobs who
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work
Wrong verb form
worked
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hard
for
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to
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his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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success
Replace the word
succeed
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in building
Apple
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the Apple
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industry. Pupils will not only look up for the word success but on top of that they know it is because of his hard
work
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.
To sum up
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, it is a fatal condition if young generations only adore someone just
because
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because of
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their wealth. It is better to understand that one's success is not only about the materials but bigger than that it is because of one's hard
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by gabriellakarin_ on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebrities
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • dangerous
  • young people
  • idolized
  • aspire
  • materialistic
  • impressionable
  • personal growth
  • meaningful
  • goals
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • intellectual pursuits
  • positive impact
  • platform
  • parents
  • educators
  • role models
  • guiding
  • inspire
  • reach their full potential
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