Celebrities are usually famous for glamour and wealth rather than their achievements. Some say taking them as an example can be dangerous for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Actors are mostly known for their rich lifestyle
instead
of their talent and some young generations see them as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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. I do believe that
this
can be dangerous for
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
who
easily
Add a missing verb
are easily
show examples
influenced by them, especially when they only look up to the materialistic aspects only. First and foremost, young people may prioritize shallow goals rather than pursuing personal growth and meaningful achievements. It is important to emphasize the value of hard
work
, dedication, and intellectual pursuits. Celebrities should be encouraged to use their
plarform
Correct your spelling
platform
to make a positive impact and promote meaningful achievements.
For instance
, they can share their story of how to achieve something rather than
show-off
Correct your spelling
show off
show examples
their cars or state-of-the-art
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
. By
this
inspirational story, it is expected that the youngster will be motivated.
Secondly
, parents and educators should play a significant role in guiding young generations towards the right role models. Encouraging them to look up to individuals who have made a difference in the world can inspire them to reach their full potential. As an example,
teacher
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the teacher
a teacher
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can introduce a famous person
such
as Steve Jobs who
work
Wrong verb form
worked
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hard
for
Change preposition
to
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his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
in building
Apple
Correct article usage
the Apple
show examples
industry. Pupils will not only look up for the word success but on top of that they know it is because of his hard
work
.
To sum up
, it is a fatal condition if young generations only adore someone just
because
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because of
show examples
their wealth. It is better to understand that one's success is not only about the materials but bigger than that it is because of one's hard
work
.
Submitted by gabriellakarin_ on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebrities
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • dangerous
  • young people
  • idolized
  • aspire
  • materialistic
  • impressionable
  • personal growth
  • meaningful
  • goals
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • intellectual pursuits
  • positive impact
  • platform
  • parents
  • educators
  • role models
  • guiding
  • inspire
  • reach their full potential
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