Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As different disciplines have various levels of difficulties, the learners would have different plans during their educational journey. Some may focus on their specialized courses,
while
Linking Words
others will tend to acquire additional
skills
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, entitlement to pursue diverse ways should be a universal human right that in
this
Linking Words
essay I will elaborate on . On one hand, in some cases spending all your
time
Use synonyms
and energy on studying specialized material would be justifiable.
For instance
Linking Words
, engineering or
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
spending a considerable amount of
time
Use synonyms
and energy to get qualifications in those fields. So, these learners deliberately or inadvertently could not allocate extra
time
Use synonyms
to learning diverse
skills
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by progressing technology and
consequently
Linking Words
accessing search engines like Google and YouTube getting the required information has been achievable in the blink of an eye.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that dedicating
time
Use synonyms
in order to gain imperative
skills
Use synonyms
apart from a university major would not be out of its benefits. Taking myself as an example, I get tri-lingual by learning English.
Also
Linking Words
, I took part in various courses including cooking, and repairing domestic electrical appliances,
therefore
Linking Words
benefiting tremendous advantages in my life.
Thus
Linking Words
, in a gender-neutral perspective learning side qualification should be a must in educational systems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, studying the basic stuff of your country's constitution would prevent potential hassles that may occur in every individual’s life. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
I understand that some university students would not have adequate
time
Use synonyms
to master new
skills
Use synonyms
, getting as many qualifications as possible would be a bit of forced luck and will lead to going strength to strength for strivers
Submitted by golriiz23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The structure of your arguments could be improved. Your arguments are somewhat difficult to follow at times, making it hard for the reader to understand your point of view. Try to structure your arguments more logically and clearly.
introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion were present and fairly well-written, they could do more to introduce and summarize your arguments. Especially in your introduction, try to be more explicit about what you will be discussing in the essay.
supported main points
Your main points were supported fairly well, but could have used more evidence and specifics. More detail would have made your arguments more convincing and compelling, and given your reader a better sense of what you're trying to say.
task achievement
You responded completely to the task and made your viewpoint clear. However, ensure you address all aspects of the tasks not only relying on your experience but covering a variety of examples that prove your point.
task achievement
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas with a thorough understanding of the topic. Keep up the good work.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant and specific examples, but try to diversify them and not only rely on personal experiences. Use data, facts, or other kind of examples to support your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: