Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
As different disciplines have various levels of difficulties, the learners would have different plans during their educational journey. Some may focus on their specialized courses,
while
others will tend to acquire additional skills
. From my perspective, entitlement to pursue diverse ways should be a universal human right that in this
essay I will elaborate on .
On one hand, in some cases spending all your time
and energy on studying specialized material would be justifiable. For instance
, engineering or Replace the word
medicine
medical
Replace the word
medicine
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
require
spending a considerable amount of Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
time
and energy to get qualifications in those fields. So, these learners deliberately or inadvertently could not allocate extra time
to learning diverse skills
. Furthermore
, by progressing technology and consequently
accessing search engines like Google and YouTube getting the required information has been achievable in the blink of an eye.
On the other hand
, I believe that dedicating time
in order to gain imperative skills
apart from a university major would not be out of its benefits. Taking myself as an example, I get tri-lingual by learning English. Also
, I took part in various courses including cooking, and repairing domestic electrical appliances, therefore
benefiting tremendous advantages in my life. Thus
, in a gender-neutral perspective learning side qualification should be a must in educational systems. Furthermore
, studying the basic stuff of your country's constitution would prevent potential hassles that may occur in every individual’s life.
In conclusion, although
I understand that some university students would not have adequate time
to master new skills
, getting as many qualifications as possible would be a bit of forced luck and will lead to going strength to strength for striversSubmitted by golriiz23 on
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coherence cohesion
The structure of your arguments could be improved. Your arguments are somewhat difficult to follow at times, making it hard for the reader to understand your point of view. Try to structure your arguments more logically and clearly.
introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion were present and fairly well-written, they could do more to introduce and summarize your arguments. Especially in your introduction, try to be more explicit about what you will be discussing in the essay.
supported main points
Your main points were supported fairly well, but could have used more evidence and specifics. More detail would have made your arguments more convincing and compelling, and given your reader a better sense of what you're trying to say.
task achievement
You responded completely to the task and made your viewpoint clear. However, ensure you address all aspects of the tasks not only relying on your experience but covering a variety of examples that prove your point.
task achievement
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas with a thorough understanding of the topic. Keep up the good work.
task achievement
Your essay contains relevant and specific examples, but try to diversify them and not only rely on personal experiences. Use data, facts, or other kind of examples to support your opinion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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