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Band 4

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled?

#people #cities #face #range #life
The urban cities, where
people
 are likely to live, have to solve several problems of their
.
Correct word choice
own.
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 normal life.
This
 problem is attributable to
cost
Add an article
the cost
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 of living and transportation but can be addressed by controlling the money we pay for our daily life. The root of the problem comes from
people
's needs and they pay a cost for their needs much higher than the salary they receive each month. In spite of the
tow
Correct your spelling
two
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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,
people
still
Add a missing verb
are still
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 required to live in a big modern house, Because of
wanting
Wrong verb form
want
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 to improve
quality
Correct pronoun usage
their quality
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 of
living
Replace the word
life
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, they don't mind their health and start to get stressed.Remaining from that bad habit for a long time, your health will get into trouble and have some cardiovascular disease that you can not
continuing
Change the verb form
continue
be continuing
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 your work, you will
get
Verb problem
go
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 bankrupt soon. Another factor may be the transportation that we usually use to work, school or wherever we like.
In other words
,
people
 want to remove their old-fashioned transport to buy a new one more modern.
As a result
, we pay numerous of money to buy extravagant transport which services our date with friends and pridely say to them that I had bought of exorbitant car that you had to dream about until dead cannot buy . A solution to these problems is to control the expenditure that we pay every month, So that we easily become a hass and get a smart plan for paying.
This
 situation leads to having a smart lifestyle and getting a life without stress.

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task response
The response does not fully address all parts of the task prompt. Make sure to discuss the most significant problems faced by people living in large cities and provide suggestions for tackling these problems.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. Ensure that your ideas are well-organized and follow a clear progression.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a proper introduction and conclusion. Include these sections to provide a clear and complete framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
There is a need for more supporting details and examples to strengthen the arguments in the essay. Provide specific examples to enhance the clarity and credibility of your ideas.
lexical resource
The choice of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Expand your vocabulary range by using a variety of words and phrases to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. Pay attention to verb agreement, sentence structure, and word choice to improve your grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
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