People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problem be tackled?
Unemployment commonly becomes the main problem
of
many cities. That, the urbanization and globalization cause Change preposition
in
this
tendency. People
from rural areas moved to urban counterparts to found
the opportunity of Wrong verb form
find
jobs
who are sometime
lack Replace the word
sometimes
of
Change preposition
apply
experiences
or not good at foreign languages. Finding Fix the agreement mistake
experience
jobs
become more competitive due to
the population and quality of each particularly
ones, Change the word
particular
causes
Wrong verb form
causing
the
unemployment like the consequences.
If a person is unemployed and cannot pay for living, the Correct article usage
apply
things
they have to choose Fix the agreement mistake
thing
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
become
a criminal. Fix the infinitive
to become
People
may not be survived
in a hustle and bustle city without any Wrong verb form
survive
jobs
or money which is help
their families with everything. In spite of paying Wrong verb form
helps
fine
or Correct article usage
a fine
be
arrested, they commit the crime with no Wrong verb form
being
consider
which are seem to go out with. Replace the word
consideration
People
who lack of
Remove the preposition
apply
jobs
are not helped with welfares
, Fix the agreement mistake
welfare
consequently
, Correct pronoun usage
which consequently
led
to the Wrong verb form
leads
rising
of crime in urban areas.
But, there are Replace the word
rise
existed
two solutions Verb problem
apply
of
these problems. Change preposition
to
Firstly
, the government must publicize some unemployed insurances
for the preparation, before making or planning any strategies. For a prime example, many cities tend to Fix the agreement mistake
insurance
relocated
houses or industrial places, not only for Wrong verb form
relocate
environment
but Add an article
the environment
also
so
for employees that Rephrase
apply
leads
a “scattered-opportunities”. Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
Moreover
, people
must be educated that
how severe the punishments they face when breaking laws, Change preposition
about
also
know that moving to urban areas is for no point.
Correct word choice
and also
To conclude
, criminal
and unemployment Replace the word
crime
were
Wrong verb form
are
being
more severe, nowadays. That may be solved and tackled by relocations and Verb problem
becoming
educations
of both governments and citizens.Fix the agreement mistake
education
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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the main problem of unemployment in large cities, but it lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Consider providing a brief overview of the main problems faced by people in large cities in the introduction, and summarizing the main points and your opinion in the conclusion.
task achievement
The essay provides some relevant examples to support the main points, but they could be further developed and explained. Consider providing more specific details and explaining the consequences of unemployment and crime in urban areas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and inconsistencies in word choice and sentence structure. Avoid repetitive phrasing and use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay's overall quality.
grammatical range
The essay has a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and inconsistencies. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure to improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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