Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#religion #schools

In most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

countries, religion is intended as

principal

Add an article

a principal

the principal

show examples

part of life.; But, many people believe

that is

not invaluable to consider religion as a part of education;

although

, religious courses have their own fans in society. Personally, I suppose it is not a good idea to teach youngsters religious

lessons

. First and foremost, in the face of technology and cultural revolutions

still

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still,

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religious societies have strong beliefs that every single person has to respect their traditions and ideologies; so, the pious

lessons

play a significant role in their education and in some

ways

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ways,

show examples

this

could be helpful. A better way of life, criticizing bad

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

such

as telling

lie

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lies

show examples

back biting

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backbiting

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are things that are able

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apply

show examples

be helpful for kids that

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

stem from

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

religious

lessons

On the other hand

, Students

specially

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especially

show examples

at early ages do not have enough

experiences

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experience

show examples

;

also

, their view about the world and other complicated phenomena like the existence of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

GOD is too

much

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

limited. So

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, teaching only a special religion to scholars has the potential to make them fanatic in a way they could not accept other beliefs.

Additionally

, I admit having

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to choose religious beliefs or even being

atheist

Correct article usage

an atheist

show examples

must be regarded as

human

Add an article

a human

show examples

right.

To sum up

, learning religious

lessons

and accepting a group of ideas as a supreme part of your thoughts at

early

Correct article usage

an early

show examples

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

is not counted as

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

idea.

Submitted by n97.mortazian on Tue Oct 31 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Include a concise introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Support general statements with specific examples or evidence.

task achievement

Develop a clear position and provide arguments to support it.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the prompt.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices.

grammatical range

Use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

religious education
multi-faith society
values and ethics
tolerance
diversity
religious freedom
secular education
curriculum
worldviews
interfaith dialogue
religious literacy
moral guidance
cultural understanding
critical thinking
respect
indoctrination
religious beliefs
secular state
religious extremism
academic subject

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Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The advantages of the spread of English as a global language will continue to outweigh its disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation and discourages private vehicle ownership. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation

Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.