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Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people that advertising is so common and we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

#people #attention #points
No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that the number of people who have a tendency to read books and newspapers online
are
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is
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 significantly increasing.
As a result
, the printed ones will
be disappeared
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disappear
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 in the near future. I totally agree with
this
 idea
due to
 the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. It is needless to say
that
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apply
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technology has caused invaluable alterations in the accessibility and availability of
the
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information. What
is
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this
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 means is that
,
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 gone are the days when there were lots of
restriction
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restrictions
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 to reach some details related to various subjects ranging from
the
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political issues to scientific facts. To elaborate on my point,
the
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society members have
a
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tremendous access to
any
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data via technology.
For instance
, nowadays, because of the war in Gaza, many are following the news online 24 hours a day from their smartphone on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter without being forced to buy
newspaper
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newspapers
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 or wait for a long period of time.
Furthermore
,
Ebooks
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E-books
 and
E-new
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E-books
 are of paramount importance owing to the fact that they are free of charge and environmentally friendly products. To present a better explanation, it should be noted that these factors play an axial role in being favourable for the community members and especially among youngsters. To cite an example, a postgraduate student can save up a considerable amount of money by using
Ebooks
Correct your spelling
e-books
instead
 of
the
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printed works.
In addition
,
the
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environmentalists invest
on
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in
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 these methods to reduce the usage of trees for printing books and newspapers.
To sum up
, as discussed in the above paragraphs, I totally agree with
this
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the
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 idea that there will be fewer printed books and newspapers in the coming times and the public will be more eager
for getting
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to get
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 their knowledge online which is an easier and cheaper approach.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
You have addressed both points of view and presented your own opinion. However, it would be better to provide more supporting evidence and analysis for each perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that you provide a brief overview of the points you will discuss in the body paragraphs in your introduction.
lexical resource
You have used a wide range of vocabulary, but some word choices may not be appropriate or accurate. Be careful with word usage and ensure that you convey your ideas clearly.
grammatical range
Your sentence structures are generally accurate, but there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. Review your grammar usage and punctuation rules to improve clarity and precision.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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