IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year.Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

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Every year,the
government
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 spends a big amount of dollars on
space
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research
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.
However
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,some
people
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 think that the
money
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 ought to be spent on developing
standards
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 of life on Earth.In my opinion,I agree with
this
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 situation and will give reasons in the essay below. First of all,the
money
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 should be spent on improving living
standards
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 on Earth.The main reason is
saving
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to save
show examples
money
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 to do more realistic activities.
Instead
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 of spending on
space
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research
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,the
government
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 can improve the facilities of citizens.
To
Change preposition
For
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 example,especially
India
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in India
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,many
people
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 don’t have a house to live
,
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in,the
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the
Correct word choice
and the
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 homeless can’t settle down because they have to move everywhere to find food and water.
Therefore
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,the
government
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 can support
money
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 on food to
people
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 and help them
affordable
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afford
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 to rent a house.
Furthermore
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,they shouldn’t spend millions of dollars on
researching
Change the form of the verb
research
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 in
space
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.Because of the consumption of energy when the spaceship
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
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,it uses a lot of resources leads to if they go to
space
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 too much,the natural resources
in
Change preposition
on
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 Earth can be run out
such
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 as coal and oil.Regarding the safety of
people
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
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 trip,astronauts,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 can’t make sure that they can come back easily.So,
space
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research
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 wastes energy and can be no valuable. In my opinion,the
government
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 should focus on making living
standards
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 better like
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 a
protect
Replace the word
protected
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 environment system and
stop
Wrong verb form
stopping
show examples
 wasting
money
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 on
space
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research
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,they can do
this
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 in the future when they have advanced technology and wide and deep knowledge.
Hence
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,I totally agree that should spend
money
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 on expanding the quality of life
instead
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 of
space
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explore
Replace the word
exploration
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.Living
standards
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 should be
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
 important priority before discovering the
space
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.

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity. Make sure to clearly state your stance and summarize your main points.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, but you could provide more specific details and examples to enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is satisfactory, but you could improve by using a wider range of vocabulary and more advanced language.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is generally accurate, but there are some errors in sentence structure and word choice. Review your grammar rules to avoid these mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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