In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success.

Many
people
argue that
people
are likely to achieve more in societies with egalitarian principles
while
others take the view that a certain level of achievement comes
along with
individual merits. In my opinion, I completely concur with the idea that egalitarian societies would support one’s achievements and remain a valid concern about the feasibility only if
people
are free to succeed and fail.
Firstly
, a competing environment can lead to more self-accomplishment, but
this
can even demotivate
people
. When offering individuals a free-wheeling life, they will not be judged and not be restrained in the pathway of anyone's success.
Therefore
, successfully pursuing the goals only happens by their potential
as well as
the advantages they have taken by themselves.
However
, one ,in the long term, can suffer from stress-related illness and even mental breakdown
due to
several obstacles confronted on the way to
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
.
Secondly
, societies with equality among humans would indeed bring about benefits to
people
's development including their academic backgrounds.
People
coming from countries where they share equivalent resources and responsibilities are equally offered a basic academic level.
For instance
, the American
people
, regardless of gender and position, can access free education beginning with kindergarten to higher education. Meanwhile, in an unfair society, an invisible barrier deters
people
from pursuing their objectives because they know that achievements only
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
a privileged background. Each person in an egalitarian society
therefore
is given the same opportunities to succeed.
To conclude
, an egalitarian society would have a certain impact on
people
's academic premise.
Also
, there remain both negative and positive features
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
those who blend into the free-wheeling life.
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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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