IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
Some individuals argue that millions of budget, researching the spare each yours dre spent on researching spent used for
people
's living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 which year, should be The writer of
this
 essay agrees with that notion as
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 spending can reduce the rate of poverty and increase the quality of life. Nowadays, there is a large number of the poor and the homeless yet
this
 problem can be solved by
millions
Add the preposition
millions of
show examples
 dollars.
Therefore
, that
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of dollars should be used for helping the
people
instead
 of
astromanic
Correct your spelling
astronomic
 discovery, so in need
instead
 of
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 the homeless
people
 will have houses and the poor
people
 will have
a better lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better life
better lives
show examples
. Another valid point is that using the annual space discovery upgrade
spendings
Correct your spelling
spending
show examples
 the facilities around the world.
In appliances
Change preposition
Appliances
show examples
 can in education not only but
also
 help many children particularly, investing in scher improve the study environment and standard of learning and teaching Children in poor condition Can go to school like the others. In conclusion,
people
 should not for space
discovering
Replace the word
discovery
show examples
Instead
, it is helping the poor and in standard on Earth. using money should be used
schools
Change preposition
in schools
show examples
 for better living
Submitted by zky1705202 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay requires a clear and logical structure. It appears disjointed and lacks clear connectivity between ideas. Use linking words and phrases to ensure coherence and cohesive development of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Introduction and conclusion are crucial for Task Achievement, but both sections in the essay lack clarity. An introduction should paraphrase the question and state your position, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion. Make sure both are explicitly clear and complete.
task achievement
Your main points need to be supported by specific examples and explanations. Include detailed reasons why the money should be re-allocated from space research to improving living conditions on Earth, using actual data or hypothetical scenarios for stronger support.
coherence cohesion
There are many grammatical errors that make it difficult to follow your ideas. In IELTS Writing Task 2, it's vital that your essay is grammatically accurate. Consider revising your grammar and ensure sentences are complete and structurally sound.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
What to do next:
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