IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
 Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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Governments
Use synonyms
 around the world consider
an
Correct article usage
apply
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economic growth
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to be a basic need, that they should be focused on
and
Correct word choice
apply
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moving forward. With
such
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 intense efforts
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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being made to achieve the goal, some
people
Use synonyms
on the other hand
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 believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 not only the economic growth but the other side of the
developments
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 equally important
such
Linking Words
 as
building
Correct article usage
the building
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 up of new schools and health infrastructure
ect
Correct your spelling
etc
. When
such
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 an argument arises I feel, it’s important for the
people
Use synonyms
 to understand why the
Use synonyms
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
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 is putting immense pressure on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic
Use synonyms
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
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. When we are considering what
governments
Use synonyms
 are up to, it’s important for everyone to know the importance of economic upbringing. With the stable financial state of the government, it’s obvious that they can bring different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
developments
Use synonyms
 in the country with the basic infrastructure that are really in need will be built.
In addition
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, when
such
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 initiatives are taken by the state, it adds to the country’s security, it is like how wealthy your country is, as its security will be because they will be able to spend
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
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 amount
to
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on
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 the country’s
defense
Change the spelling
defence
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 budget. So country needs to look
up
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apply
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for
the
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apply
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ways to become rich before looking for other
developments
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. When we say
this
Linking Words
 there are
group
Add an article
a group
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 of
people
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 who utterly believes that investments should be made in the development of proper schools and health than preparing
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 economic road map.
This
Linking Words
 group of
people
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 believes that the foundation of economic growth is the other factor including proper schools and health systems. I would argue that, if more of its investment is made prior to those activities
than
Correct your spelling
then
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 the economic pathway could vanish.
For instance
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, getting
loan
Add an article
a loan
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 from
the
Correct article usage
a
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 financial institution
such
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 as
World
Correct article usage
the World
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 Bank and
then
Linking Words
 if you invest in
such
Linking Words
 activities rather than doing a greater business investment like Hydroelectricity,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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would most probably result in
economic
Correct article usage
an economic
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 crunch
loosing
Replace the word
losing
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country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
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 security on the other side. In a nutshell, I would suggest
governments
Use synonyms
 are smarter than some of the common
people
Use synonyms
 are thinking in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Therefore
Linking Words
 with
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
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 proper investment and strategic economic plan, the other sectors will develop equally.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure in your essay, with well-developed introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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