The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest

#percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest

The pie chart presents the proportion of

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

and

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

who were in jail from 1989 to 1994 and the bar graph depicts the main reasons that different genders were arrested recently.

Overall

, it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can clearly be seen that men were arrested more than

women

and it was

because

Add the preposition

because of

show examples

the highest rates of public drinking at the given period. Looking at more details, the number of males

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

much greater than for females. 32% were arrested compared to only 9% for

women

. Turning to the reason for

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

recent

arrest

Fix the agreement mistake

arrests

show examples

, men tend to get arrested because of

drink

Replace the word

drunk

show examples

driving

than

Correct quantifier usage

more than

show examples

women

, at 26% and 14% respectively. Breach of order, theft, and other

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

were

also

slightly higher for men,

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

percentage

range

Replace the word

ranging

show examples

from 16% to 19%.

On the other hand

, the number of public drinking

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

noticeably higher in

women

, over 35%. After that, more than 15%

Change preposition

of female

show examples

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

did

Verb problem

apply

show examples

assault

Replace the word

assaulted

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people.

Lastly

, less than 10%

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

reasons

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

uncertainty

why

Change preposition

as to why

show examples

they

did

Verb problem

committed

show examples

a crime.

Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on Tue Oct 31 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

166 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
percentage
arrests
bar chart
trends
age group
contrast
significance
factors
societal implications
crime
economic
social factors
legal factors
preventive measures
interventions
data analysis
demographics
reasons for arrest

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In last half century, the tourism industry has increased at a greater extent but there is a still small portion of places which tourist havent touched yet. Infact, it has been believed that the parts of world where tourist visits doesnt have much help by tourism. I strongly disagree with the statement and to justify my opinion, I will be sharing few facts with an example in a following paragraph.
4.5
band
should human adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point.
Financial illiteracy used to be the biggest problem of my childhood. Though, my mother had an average salary and some bonuses from my father as child support. Even though, my mom did not have enough financial knowledge to manage money effectively. I really did not have an idea what was happening due to my young and silly mind. As a big brother to my sister and an assistant to my mother, I had to find a way to abandon this paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. I began to study about financial literacy by reading books of Robert Kiyosaki, listening to interviews of successful traders and investors such as Warren Buffett, George Soros. This was just fundament, afterward I volunteered to be financial assistant of mother. Since then, I realised that I want to interconnect my life with money-managing.
5.5
band
school shoub get exam from stuest what is your openion
Up to this day, taking exams and tests are procedure to check the understanding of students. Therefore, several people believe that a lot of exams should be given by students. In my opinion, it is highly important that the education system has exams during their study because it makes it easy to compare students at their level. However, it has some negative impacts.
9
band
some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country
Some argue for mandatory work in a specific study location, while others champion the freedom to work in various countries. Personally, I align with the latter perspective.
6.5
band
Many people today find that the cost of attaining a University-level education is extremely high for the students and their families. What are the causes of this situation, and how can governments, Universities and the students themselves overcome the problem?
These days, a number of individuals believe that university tuition fees are a significant hardship on family budgets which are already strained by the cost of accommodation and other living costscost. This essay explores the reasons for this situation and considers ways of addressing the problems.

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

should human adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point.

school shoub get exam from stuest what is your openion

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country

Many people today find that the cost of attaining a University-level education is extremely high for the students and their families. What are the causes of this situation, and how can governments, Universities and the students themselves overcome the problem?