IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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Professionals should be required to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
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 where they did the training.
Although
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 some believe that they should be free to
work
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 in any other
country
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 if they want.
This
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 essay will discuss both these views. Professionals,
such
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 as doctors and engineers, should
work
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 in their home
country
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 since it would
benefits
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benefit
show examples
 the
nation
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. As an example, in a third world
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nation
Add a comma
nation,
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 they need workers that help them to develop the
country
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 to be better. Doctors can help to reduce the number of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
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 and engineers can help to construct
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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better public facilities. Since the professionals are from
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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country
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, it is easier for them to know what is better for the society.
On the other hand
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, individuals who choose to
work
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 in different
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
show examples
 may face some difficulties. Adapting
in
Change preposition
to
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 a new place is one of the examples. It is hard to adapt from one place to another if the
country
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 is very different than they used to live.
For instance
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, they
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 adjust
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 extreme changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 weather.
Furthermore
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, they need to fit into
new
Add an article
a new
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 society where they have zero experience there.
Although
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 working in different
Use synonyms
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 will help the workers to gain new experience, it is better for them to develop
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 to be a better living world.
To conclude
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, it is arguable for
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
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 to
work
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 in
wherever
Correct your spelling
whatever
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country
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 they want, but they should consider
to serve
Change the verb form
serving
show examples
 the
nation
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 in the first place. Not only it would
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 the
country
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, but they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 gain more knowledge.
Submitted by gabriellakarin_ on

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Task Achievement
Provide a clear and direct thesis statement at the beginning of the essay to clearly state your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly organized and follow a logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and supporting details.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary instead of repetitive words or phrases.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to avoid errors and improve your overall accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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