IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#college #students #home #parents
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Many
students
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 are faced with the dilemma of whether to live in a university dormitory or at
home
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 with
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parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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. From my perspective, a dormitory is evidently the better option for most
students
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. On the one hand, there is a common belief that living with
parents
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 is better for
students
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’ personal development. People may argue that
students
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 living at
home
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 may fully concentrate on their academic
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 because their
parents
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 would normally support them in other activities,
such
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 as doing household tasks.
However
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, it is irrefutable that in
this
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 way, some
students
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 may become over-reliant on their
parents
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 in most of their daily activities, and
thus
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 lose the ability
of living
Replace the preposition
to live
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 independently in the future.
By contrast
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,
students
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 who live in dormitories have to take care of themselves in all aspects of life.
Therefore
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, they may acquire the vital skills of a self-reliant person, ranging from financial management and
problem solving
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problem-solving
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 to meal planning and
home
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 management, all of which are essential to foster the
all-round
Correct your spelling
all-around
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 personal development of
this
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 group of
students
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.
On the other hand
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, there are several distinct advantages of choosing on-campus residences. The most evident advantage is that
students
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 who choose
this
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 type of accommodation would have extremely easy access to libraries and various learning sources that are readily available at school. Another obvious benefit is that those living in a
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students’
Change noun form
student’s
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 residence are exposed to a diverse environment with people from various social and cultural backgrounds. From
this
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,
students
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 are better prepared to live in
this
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 multi-cultural world. From the issues outlined above, one can conclude that living inside the school campus is apparently a better choice than living at
home
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 with
parents
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.
Submitted by manurishinanda on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that relate back to the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition. Try to incorporate more advanced vocabulary into your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and aim for more complex and varied sentence constructions. Avoid repetitive sentence patterns.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • life skills
  • budgeting
  • cooking
  • time management
  • social integration
  • networking
  • extracurricular activities
  • academic resources
  • distractions
  • cultural exposure
  • personal development
  • global understanding
  • self-discovery
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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