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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many student’s todays take part in the work experience sessions for a short period of time instead of attending school. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#student’s #todays #part #work #sessions #period #time #school #development
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It has been the popular trend for some time now to put
children
Use synonyms
 into what can
we
Correct your spelling
be
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 called
work
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placement
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 experience. The
children
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are take
Change the verb form
are taken
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 out
from
Change preposition
of
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school
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 and take part in the various type of
work
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. Usually for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one
week
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. Some people criticize
this
Linking Words
 trend but I cannot see any reason it can be
the
Correct article usage
a
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 negative development. One of the
criticism
Fix the agreement mistake
criticisms
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 is that
children
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loose
Replace the word
lose
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 the
week
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 of
school
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work
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. With the pressure they can do well at the
school
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,
children
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 need every bit of help to maximize their potential. Taking out from
school
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, it is
therefore
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 argued,
stop
Correct subject-verb agreement
stops
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 them from getting access
for
Change preposition
to
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 the needed education for a
week
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the student won’t be really much help at the
Use synonyms
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 for just one
week
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.
However
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, it would be better for them to remain at the
school
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.
Although
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this
Linking Words
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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valid point, taking the
child
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child's
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 entire experience of
school
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 into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
account, a single
week
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 away does not make a significant difference. without a doubt, if the timing of the
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week
Change noun form
week's
show examples
work
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placement
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 is done correctly. The
week
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 can be served as kind of a holiday away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
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, sometime that break is needed in order to allow
student
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students
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remain
Fix the infinitive
to remain
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 fresh and enthusiastic. In many
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work
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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place
Add a comma
place,
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children
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 see some of
things
Add an article
the things
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 which they have
learn
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learned
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 at
school
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 and
put
Add a missing verb
are put
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 into
realistic
Add an article
a realistic
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 context, allowing them to understand the relevancy of the
work
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 they have
learn
Change the form of the verb
learned
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thus
Linking Words
 creating a way to emphasize the learning.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
,
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school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
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children
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 can be quite nervous about the world of
work
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 that they have to
at
Add a missing verb
do at
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 the time of some point. By getting
the
Correct article usage
a
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 little taste of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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what
is
Correct your spelling
it
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look
Wrong verb form
looks
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 like. From these
children
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 will have some idea of
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
what they want to do for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 living, but are not sure
.
Change preposition
about.
show examples
 By allowing them to see
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 type of
work
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 they are bearing in mind which will allow them to decide that the carrier they are looking for is suitable for them. I believe that the
work
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placement
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 can be seen
Change preposition
as the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 positive development. Missing a short amount of
school
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 is not
the
Change the article
apply
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serious and the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 that can be gained from the
placement
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 are substantial.
Submitted by ieltsexpert185 on

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task response
Ensure that all points directly relate to the topic and address both the positive and negative aspects.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay into paragraphs and use clear linking devices to improve overall coherence.
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and avoid errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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