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Band 3.5

Today, thanks to improvements in communication technology and transportation, people can work and live wherever they want. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#thanks #improvements #communication #technology #transportation #people #work #development
Husband 1:
This
 woman used to be my friend at university; we always studied together and pledged to marry. When the professor was lecturing, we would draw our next child on paper and glue his picture all over our university textbooks: civil, maritime, personal status, and international law. Why do you want to take away my child when I have been waiting for him for a long time? Husband 3: I was waiting for him too! I was the only one in the market who strived hard to improve production. Husband 2: As for me, my feet have been bare from waiting.
Submitted by sherifF on

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task response
The essay demonstrates a good overall understanding of the topic, but some arguments could be further developed to strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally effective, but the introduction and conclusion could be improved to provide a stronger framework for the argument.
lexical resource
The essay displays a varied range of vocabulary with appropriate word choice, but there is scope for more nuanced use of language to enhance the argument.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and sentence structure, but there are occasional errors or inconsistencies that could be further minimized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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