The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society ? How can this problem be resolved? Write IELTS essay with minimum 250 words
Recent research states that being overweight causes serious
health
issues. The prominent reason behind this
is eating junk food. In this
essay, I will discuss different reasons and possible solutions for this
problem.
In this
busy world, people do not have time to cook at home; instead
, they prefer to rely on fast-food centres. Not only that, but they also
do not spend time on physical exercise. Moreover
, with the current work-from-home situation, everyone is sitting in one place for long periods, leading to belly fat. Not only for adults, but diet also
affects children's health
.
From my perspective, "Prevention is better than cure," hence
, following a good diet can avoid overweight issues. In the daily schedule, we need to spend at least one hour cooking and trying to prepare simple dishes to keep in the fridge. Just heat it for a minute in the oven when you feel hungry. Perhaps, spending one hour cooking will also
be a physical activity for us.
Regular workouts would be another solution to this
issue. In a recent article, a well-known dietician suggested walking for at least 5 kilometres a day, and this
activity keeps us young and healthy. Apart from that, early morning yoga makes us strong both physically and mentally. Additionally
, eating organic foods like leafy vegetables and nuts will help maintain good health
. Regular health
checkups are also
essential for a healthy life.
In conclusion, society needs to prioritize health
over wealth. Good health
brings wealth, but we cannot cure diseases even if we spend millions of dollars.Submitted by ssssss9999 on
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task response
The essay does not fully address the given task. It briefly mentions the prominent reason for the growth in overweight people, but fails to discuss other reasons. It also lacks a clear discussion on resolving the problem. To improve, make sure to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the reasons and suggest specific solutions for addressing overweight issues.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a specific idea and contribute to the overall argument. To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that there is a clear introduction and conclusion, and that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Additionally, provide clear topic sentences and supporting evidence to strengthen the essay's organization.
lexical resource
The lexical resource of the essay is adequate, but there is room for improvement. While the vocabulary used is generally appropriate, consider using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language to express ideas. Additionally, pay attention to word choice and use academic language where appropriate. Expand your vocabulary through reading and practice incorporating new words in your writing.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a basic command of grammar and sentence structure. However, there are some errors in sentence formation and grammar usage, such as subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. To improve grammatical range, focus on sentence construction, use of complex structures, and accuracy in grammar. Review grammar rules and practice writing sentences with different structures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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