IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extant do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #spaces #towns #cities
In today’s world, environmental issues
has
Change the verb form
have
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 gained widespread attention. Many believe that it is of great significance that plant
vegetation
 in the open area
instead
 of constructing more buildings. It is satisfactory, in my opinion, for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to spend more energy on
strategies
Correct article usage
the strategies
show examples
 of
plants
.
To begin
 with, there are several advantages to
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 if
grow
Verb problem
apply
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more
plants
 in the surrounding area.
Plants
 have been an essential part of our lives
which
Correct word choice
and
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 are very beneficial for our health.
In other words
,
vegetation
are
Change the verb form
is
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 able to bring us fresh air.
For instance
,
plants
 will generate oxygen and uptake carbon dioxide through photosynthesis.
Furthermore
, planting more trees in the vicinity
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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 only helpful for human
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
 have serious effects on animals. Various
vegetation
contribute
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contributes
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 to
provide
Change the verb form
providing
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fantastic
Correct article usage
a fantastic
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 habitat.
On the other hand
, constructing more housing
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
show examples
 a great deal of disadvantages. The area where are
suppose
Wrong verb form
supposed
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 to plant
vegetation
 will be reduced. That means, we can not plant enough trees and it is probable to induce
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse
show examples
 effect.
Moreover
, building more constructions may cause resource waste.
Although
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 a large population in the world, it does not mean that we need more houses. It will
also
 increase industrial pollution.
For example
, the team who construct houses
must
Correct your spelling
just
show examples
 need to throw the industrial rubbish. The contaminant will destroy the environment. In conclusion, compared to the waste of resources and environmental pollution by constructing buildings, planting more trees in the open locality has a good development
on
Change preposition
for
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 the environment and people’s health.
Therefore
, I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
 argument.
Submitted by 1550018584 on

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task response
In the introduction, you state that it is satisfactory for the government to spend more energy on strategies of plants, but you do not explain this further or provide any supporting arguments. It is important to clearly present your position and provide a brief overview of the main points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea. However, there is room for improvement in terms of linking words and phrases to enhance the coherence and cohesion. Try to use more transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally good, with a variety of words and phrases to express your ideas. However, there are a few instances of word choice and collocation errors. Make sure to double-check your vocabulary usage and consider using more precise and academic language when appropriate.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite good, with only minor errors throughout the essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to further improve your grammatical accuracy. Additionally, make sure to vary your sentence structures to add more sophistication to your writing.

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