In many cities an increasing number of people don't know their neighbors and they seems no longer develop any sense of community. 1 analysis the main reasons 2 what measures can be taken to improve this?

In the present era, there is no doubt that
people
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not familiar with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
become quite common. As it were,
people
lack a sense of community. In
this
essay, I intend to discuss the problems associated with
this
trend
along with
a solution in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why
people
feel alienated from
Correct pronoun usage
their neighbors
show examples
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. The prime reason is that
people
are more and more busy, and they do not have redundant time and energy to communicate with their
neighbors
.
In other words
,
people
are busy during the day, and they get off work very late,
thus
they have no opportunities to meet with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
In addition
, with the development of technology, there are a lot of things that do not need help from
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
For instance
, if objects are broken in their household, they are likely to watch some videos about repairing and read experience articles on the internet.
Therefore
, they do not ask their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
for help.
Nevertheless
,
this
phenomenon causes
people
to have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
chances to talk to their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. To tackle
this
problem, it is of great significance that governments are supposed to construct public facilities,
such
as gardens, swimming pools and cafes. Public facilities are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crucial venues where
people
share their
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
of life and develop community activities. As far as I am concerned, it is conducive to
foster
Wrong verb form
fostering
show examples
a sense of community. In conclusion, the busy lifestyle and the development of technology are the main obstacles
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
phenomenon. Only when the government pays more attention to communities, can
this
problem be solved.
Submitted by 1550018584 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Clearly address all parts of the question and provide a balanced and comprehensive response. Make sure to fully develop your ideas and support them with evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, including an introduction and conclusion. Connect your ideas coherently using appropriate transitions.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied word choices. Use appropriate academic and formal language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Use a variety of sentence structures and avoid repetitive phrasing or errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: