In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for the government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the number of old
people
is increasing dramatically. Some individuals argue that
this
phenomenon might be able to make issues for the authorities.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that having a number of old
generations
has benefits.
This
is because old
people
are able to help young
generations
mentally and physically. On the one hand, it is evident that because of an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population, governments have hectic schedules. In fact, there are a lot of problems that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments have to deal with in our modern society.
However
, they are more likely to have responsibilities to take care of the elderly, especially
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who do not have family.
For example
, the government in South Korea reported that they have struggled with supporting older
generations
mentally and financially.
This
means
overpopulations
Fix the agreement mistake
overpopulation
show examples
of old
people
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
caused serious problems for the governments.
Nevertheless
, there is a more persuasive opinion that old
people
are able to play a pivotal role in each family in many ways.
Firstly
,
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
generations
are more likely to have rich experiences. So, they can give informative advice to their kids and grandchildren. To cite an example, when I was young, I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lived
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
my grandparents. At the time, they used to share useful stories with our family. It was beneficial for our family to overcome difficulties.
Moreover
, some old
people
can assist
childcare
Change preposition
in childcare
show examples
for their grandkids. These days, since numerous parents are working together, they need babysitters for their kids. In
this
situation, old individuals can be willing to take care of their grandchildren.
To sum up
,
while
some
people
insist that the authorities are having difficulties because of a great number of old
people
, it is more significant for us to have an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population since they are able to support young
people
by giving advice and childcare.
Submitted by lym1049 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure in each paragraph.
lexical resource
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grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar usage. Use a variety of sentence types and avoid repetitive sentence structures.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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