IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

. It is difficult for people who live in cities to get enough physical exercise. What causes and solutions can be taken to solve the problem?

#people #cities #exercise
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In the current world, physical activities aren't much in practice.
This
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 essay will discuss various reasons and enumerate the causes
Change preposition
of why
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why
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of why
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 urban
residents
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 have difficulty working out regularly.
In addition
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, there will
also
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 be some solutions to it.
Firstly
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, the
people
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 living in the cities have really hectic schedules and
this
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 is the most common reason why physical activity cannot be performed. In
this
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 city lifestyle,
due to
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 the workload, stress and long working hours in
such
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 situations
residents
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 would skip exercise and have rest to get over the load. Because of the busy routine
from
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apply
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jobs
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jobs,
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people
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 aren't getting
time
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 to get involved in the activity and
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work outs
Correct your spelling
workouts
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, they would rather prefer
having
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to have
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 family
time
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 and rest in
the
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their
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 leisure
time
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. Another reason could be the development of buildings and construction of companies etc in the open space available for jogging and running leading to scarcity of place.
Hence
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, urban
residents
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 are more involved in active lifestyles rather than physical exercise.
On the other hand
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, there are many solutions which are easily doable. At home
space
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space,
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 parents can encourage kids and each other
for having
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to have
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a
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an
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 early session of exercise at bedtime. The employers can encourage the employees to do activities. The Human resources department can help by providing a few minutes of
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
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 before starting the
work
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 for employees.
For example
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, in different countries,
people
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 have a quick workout session before starting
work
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.
However
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, the local government can improve the planning of construction areas and provide parks and open spaces for the
residents
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 to
work
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 out and have leisure
time
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 in fresh air. In conclusion, physical activity would be difficult for
people
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 living in cities but there are numerous reasons to get over the problems.
Submitted by noorainfatima135 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly address the topic and provide a clear indication of the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more varied and sophisticated.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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