IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Millions of dollars are spent on spare research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
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Every year, it can be seen that a large amount of
money
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 is spent on
space
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 research. A lot of
people
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 think that the
money
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 should be used to improve the standards of living for residents. In my point of view, I think the government should use the
money
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 to discover
space
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. First of all, I personally say that the
money
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 of the government should be spent on
space
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 research because the universe outside of our
Earth
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 is a huge place and
humans
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 do not explore all about it.
However
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, we can find another planet for
humans
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 to live
due to
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Earth
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. Recently, the percentage of
people
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are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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borned
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born
everyday
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every day
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 is more and more.
However
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, there is no longer enough
space
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 for
people
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 to live.
Secondly
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, because of the bad
environment
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,
Earth
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's ozone layer is in a state of emergency. I think
humans
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 can live on
Earth
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 for about 30-35 years
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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. Our life is developing so much, there is a
lots
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lot
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 of factories now, and
their
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the
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 emission of these factories will exhaust the
environment
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.
Humans
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 nowadays do not have awareness, they always through trash into the river. The global warming made
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of forests become burnt. It has a variety of negative
effect
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effects
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 on the
environment
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, making the
environment
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 turn into more badly.
To conclude
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, if
people
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 do not know how to save the
environment
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as well as
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 our
Earth
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. I guess that the government see that situation and they are worried about the future of
people
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 so they have to spend a huge amount of
money
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 to discover
space
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, to find
people
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 another planet similar to
Earth
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 for
people
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 to emigrate to in the near future.
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introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are missing. It is important to provide a clear introduction that introduces the topic and presents your opinion. Additionally, the essay should be concluded with a summary of the main points discussed.
logical structure
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. It is important to organize your ideas in a coherent and cohesive manner, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point or aspect of the topic. Consider using paragraphs to address each main idea and providing clear topic sentences.
relevant specific examples
The essay lacks specific and relevant examples to support the main points. Consider providing examples or evidence that illustrate the points you are making. This will make your arguments more convincing and enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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