IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Millions of dollars are spent on research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree.

#millions #dollars #research #year #people #money #earth
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These days, millions of money are utilized for
space
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 research annually. Some individuals believe that money should be better used to enhance living
conditions
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 on
Earth
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. In my point of view, I both agree and disagree with
this
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 view because there are
also
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 pros and cons
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both of these views. On the one hand, astronomy, the universe,
space
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 and living in outer
space
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 are always the hot topics, and it shows the desire of
people
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 to explore other planets outside the
Earth
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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 spend too much on
space
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 exploration but they neglect their current living
conditions
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 on
Earth
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. Many poor living
conditions
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 and problems are not solved in many countries
such
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 as lack of fossil fuels, climate change, lack of food and plants, famine, poverty, unemployment and other serious issues which occur every day and everywhere.
However
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, we can
also
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 cope with these problems, particularly alleviate it to work on the living standards of the
Earth
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.
For instance
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, India is the most popular in the world, so it leads to many issues including the shortage of water, food, and famine. These problems are hot topics that the government in India need to face and deal with, so we can use
this
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 moneymoney to make the
people
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 who live in India have a better life worth living.
On the other hand
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, research about outer
space
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also
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 brings many advantages for us
such
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 as we can launch satellites to develop our system as wifi or GPS and
also
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 we estimate the age of the
earth
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 so when we run out of energy of
Earth
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 and every living things on
Earth
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 can not exist, we need to find and move the other planets which have the same living standards and
conditions
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 like
Earth
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 for
people
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 to maintain their life. In conclusion, everything has the 2-edging sword, so we can
also
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 spend money on both of these fields to develop our civilization.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that states the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarize the main points in the conclusion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repeating words or phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that sentences are grammatically correct.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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