It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of old people than young people in the future in some countries. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#proportion #people #future #countries #development

Nowadays some countries have

large

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a large

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portion of older people than

yonger

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younger

ones and

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show examples

agree with that point because of the

economy

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economic

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develpement

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development

and financial crisis it is hard to manage

large

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a large

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family. first of all, in the current generation parents don't have

idea

Correct quantifier usage

any idea

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about

big

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a big

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family because

their

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of their

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children

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children's

show examples

expences

Correct your spelling

expenses

show examples

.Technology developed so we need more money to afford those things like education,shopping and daily needs .compare to the

old

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older

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generation like twenty to thirty years ago parents did not

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have so

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much money for schooling so that will be easy to handle family.

Secondly

children

faces loneliness in their home because they don't have

partner

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a partner

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to play

and

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with and

show examples

sharring

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their ideas

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

will lead to social media attention.Previously ,

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

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children

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

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a lot of time

for

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apply

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playing outside but

currently

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currently,

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youngesters

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youngsters

are not ready

with playing

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to play

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outside.So current

childrens

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children

children's

missing their family band like sister and brother love.

Example

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For example

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, in

singapore

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Singapore

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one article shared

Correct article usage

a 20

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percetage

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percentage

Correct article usage

the elder

show examples

elder

Fix the agreement mistake

elders

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ratio

high

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is high

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compare

Wrong verb form

compared

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to the

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

. conclusion it is

negative

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a negative

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developement

Correct your spelling

development

for

yongesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

and it will create stress

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show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

mental health.

however

Capitalize word

However

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

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need to reduce

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

for their

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

development.

Submitted by keyarthi on Wed Nov 01 2023

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task response

Your essay does not fully address the prompt. While you mention that some countries have a higher proportion of older people than younger ones, you do not clearly state whether you think this is a positive or negative development. Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear logical structure. Make sure to present your ideas in a coherent and organized manner, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

lexical resource

You need to work on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of lexical resources. Try to use more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas. Consider using synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and collocations.

grammatical range

There are several grammatical errors throughout your essay. Make sure to proofread your work and pay attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
life expectancy
experience
wisdom
strain
healthcare
pension systems
workforce productivity
intergenerational
learning
connection

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It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of old people than young people in the future in some countries. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to boys and girls in schools. Others disagree and believe it is a waste of school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some think that climate change reforms will negatively affect business. Others feel they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places.

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crimes drams are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV show are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?