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Band 5.5

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#two #maps #show #park #summarise #information #features #comparisons
These maps illustrate Grange
Park
 in 1920 and now.
Overall
, the location of seats and gardens have been changed and the
park
 which was
initially
 surrounded by more
of
Change preposition
apply
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nature now has more recent constructions for leisure and entertainment.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 there is a new entrance to the car
park
. In 1920, there was a fountain which was situated in the centre , a stage for musical
artistes
Correct your spelling
artists
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 just to
left
Add an article
the left
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 of the fountain, an aquatic habitat for plants
also
 to the West and a Glasshouse to the right of the entrance from Eldon Street. There were seats on the left side of the two entrances from both Eldon
street
Capitalize word
Street
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 and Arnold
avenue
Capitalize word
Avenue
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similarly
 there was a place to sit just to the right of the glasshouse. Today, all seats are arranged in the centre, all surrounding one Rose garden and the space for the pond has been enlarged to create space to build a cafe and playground for children
also
Rephrase
apply
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in the same way, the glasshouse has been replaced with a water feature and the stage torn down and substituted with an amphitheatre.
Furthermore
, an entrance to an underground car
park
 has been set up just outside the
park
 to the West.
Submitted by annodunowo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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