Some people believe that team sports are very important for children to succeed in their career, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
day and age, obtaining social skills is of utmost importance for one to succeed in life.
While
many people claim that the future success of kids results from joining collaborative
sports
, others show disapproval of
this
belief. To my mind, it is true that there are other essential activities that contribute to a person's achievement.
Firstly
, it is worth considering that teamwork is a prerequisite in today's workplace. Employers always value members who can cooperate well with other coworkers in order to complete a project well.
That is
why companies frequently organise team-building holidays so as to tighten the relationship between employees and
also
increase their sense of community. For kids, playing group
sports
is an excellent way to promote
this
skill.
For instance
, a goal can only be scored through a combination of all eleven members' efforts rather than that of an individual.
Thus
, being in a team can empower children with
this
crucial ability to help them perform better at work.
Secondly
, it is
also
noticeable that critical thinking, self-reflection and independence are among various other essential requirements for one to achieve great success.
In other words
, a young person must have self-consciousness to realise his strengths and weaknesses in order to improve himself constantly.
Additionally
, an active citizen of the future has to be flexible at problem-solving independently. Suppose that a student does not receive peer assessment in time to adjust his essay. In
this
case, he is expected to trigger his intrinsic motivation and self-regulate his learning skills to find a proper solution. From
this
example, it can be seen that playing team
sports
is a socially crucial practice for growing soft skills but independent working and self-reflection are
also
what matter.
To sum up
, youngsters can adapt to
this
constantly changing world thanks to familiarising collaborative jobs when doing outdoor activities.
However
, climbing a ladder of success requires other abilities
such
as problem-solving, confidence, and self-reflection as well.Some people believe that team
sports
are very important for children to succeed in their careers,
while
others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Submitted by phamngoclannhu.97 on

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction paragraph. This will help the reader understand your position from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally effective. However, consider including a stronger topic sentence for each paragraph to clearly introduce the main idea.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a strong lexical resource. Continue to use a variety of vocabulary to enhance the language used in your essay.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range and accuracy are fairly strong. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency throughout your essay.

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