The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

this

day and age, the advent of technology has brought many benefits to our lives. It is undeniable that entertaining activities from technological devices are truly convenient. Yet, many

people

claim that

such

entertainment

does more harm than good. From my perspective, I completely agree with

this

belief.

This

essay will provide reasons and examples for my support.

Firstly

, it is worth considering that some mobile games encourage antisocial behaviour. To be more specific, it is easy to spot a game that contains inappropriate language and violent scenes.

For instance

, the well-known Fortnite game requires players to use guns or knives to hurt others in order to gain victory.

Consequently

, game users find these actions normal and gradually perform similar behaviour in real life. Especially for young

people

, juvenile delinquency is inevitable.

This

is a clear example that the negative effects of technological

entertainment

are tremendous.

Secondly

, overusing portable equipment can make

people

less sociable and isolated.

Moreover

, it might lead to a decrease in

people

's interpersonal skills.

For example

, rather than going outside, most

people

decide to stay at home and chat online.

In other words

, they prefer internet-based interaction to face-to-face conversations.

As a result

people

are no longer empowered with communicative and social skills.

Additionally

, the mental health of the public might be significantly affected

due to

networked

entertainment

. It means that when

people

choose to indoors more often, they eventually become more reserved.

As a consequence

, they might suffer from social anxiety or depression. To summarise,

while

some

people

favour online

entertainment

, some argue that it brings certain disadvantages to our daily lives. I completely agree with

this

belief. Social misconduct and isolation are some negative effects of over-relying on technological advancement.

Submitted by phamngoclannhu.97 on Wed Nov 01 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas logically and clearly throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Attempt to vary your sentence structures to showcase a wider range of grammar.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays an increasing number of people are working from home instead of going into the office. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

some people say that music is a good way of bringing poeple of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.  discuss both these views and give your own opinion.