The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

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this

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day and age, the advent of technology has brought many benefits to our lives. It is undeniable that entertaining activities from technological devices are truly convenient. Yet, many

people

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claim that

such

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entertainment

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does more harm than good. From my perspective, I completely agree with

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belief.

This

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essay will provide reasons and examples for my support.

Firstly

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, it is worth considering that some mobile games encourage antisocial behaviour. To be more specific, it is easy to spot a game that contains inappropriate language and violent scenes.

For instance

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, the well-known Fortnite game requires players to use guns or knives to hurt others in order to gain victory.

Consequently

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, game users find these actions normal and gradually perform similar behaviour in real life. Especially for young

people

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, juvenile delinquency is inevitable.

This

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is a clear example that the negative effects of technological

entertainment

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are tremendous.

Secondly

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, overusing portable equipment can make

people

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less sociable and isolated.

Moreover

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, it might lead to a decrease in

people

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's interpersonal skills.

For example

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, rather than going outside, most

people

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decide to stay at home and chat online.

In other words

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, they prefer internet-based interaction to face-to-face conversations.

As a result

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people

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are no longer empowered with communicative and social skills.

Additionally

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, the mental health of the public might be significantly affected

due to

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networked

entertainment

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. It means that when

people

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choose to indoors more often, they eventually become more reserved.

As a consequence

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, they might suffer from social anxiety or depression. To summarise,

while

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some

people

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favour online

entertainment

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, some argue that it brings certain disadvantages to our daily lives. I completely agree with

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belief. Social misconduct and isolation are some negative effects of over-relying on technological advancement.

Submitted by phamngoclannhu.97 on Wed Nov 01 2023

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task response

Ensure that you fully address the task prompt in your introduction and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas logically and clearly throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

grammatical range

Attempt to vary your sentence structures to showcase a wider range of grammar.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Today much of the food people eat get imported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Technology has brought so many changes that modern lifestyle are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Do you think the positive effects of technology outweigh its disadvantages?