IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every yeas. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree

#millions #dollars #space #research #yeas #people #money #standards #earth
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age ,it deems to
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
 are invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 space
experiment
Fix the agreement mistake
experiments
show examples
yearl
Correct your spelling
year
years
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of people believe that the funds should be spent on living
standeards
Correct your spelling
standards
 development on Earth. The author strongly
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with the statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay will prove that opinion. My own view on the matter is it vital to spend
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 contemporary threats on Earth. First and foremost,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 cope with many environmental issues
such
Linking Words
 as climate change,global warming,pollution and epidemic diseases.So ,to reduce the consequences of these problems,the authorities need to invest huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,to improve the air quality, it is better for us to shift away from fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
 and use solar,wind and
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, renewable energy
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 too much investment. It is essential to understand that after covid 19 epidemic ,the
economicis
Correct your spelling
economy is
seriously
Change the word
serious
show examples
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
. The pandemic
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to a recession
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many businesses,
enterprises
Correct word choice
and enterprises
show examples
 and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
levek
Correct your spelling
level
levels
 of unemployment. The authorities need to take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 of the country.
In other words
Linking Words
,
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 the economy of the country is one of the most effective ways to improve the living conditions and standards of citizens. In conclusion,during a period of economic development, it is unnecessary to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on space research.
Thus
Linking Words
 , from my
view
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
point
Add a comma
point,
show examples
 we should
plow
Change the spelling
plough
show examples
these payment
Change the determiner
this payment
these payments
show examples
 into ordinary infrastructure and boost the improvement of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 on Earth.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay provides a clear opinion, which is a positive element; however, more specific examples are required to enhance the task response. The effectiveness of the argument would be improved by adding relevant data or case studies to support the viewpoint. Avoid general statements and strive to illustrate points with precise, illustrative examples.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical sequence to an extent, transitions between paragraphs and sentences could be smoother. It's important to use cohesive devices and a variety of linking words to make the progression of ideas clearer. Revise the essay structure to follow a more traditional format with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to aid in the readability and coherence of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: