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Band 3

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every yeas. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree

#millions #dollars #space #research #yeas #people #money #standards #earth
In
this
 day and age ,it deems to
huge
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a huge
the huge
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 amount of
money
 are invested
on
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in
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 space
experiment
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experiments
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yearl
Correct your spelling
year
years
.
In contrast
,
group
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a group
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 of people believe that the funds should be spent on living
standeards
Correct your spelling
standards
 development on Earth. The author strongly
agree
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agrees
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 with the statement and
this
 essay will prove that opinion. My own view on the matter is it vital to spend
money
for
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on
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 contemporary threats on Earth. First and foremost,
human
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humans
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 cope with many environmental issues
such
 as climate change,global warming,pollution and epidemic diseases.So ,to reduce the consequences of these problems,the authorities need to invest huge
amount
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amounts
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 of
money
.
For example
,to improve the air quality, it is better for us to shift away from fossil
fuel
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fuels
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 and use solar,wind and
hydro power
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hydropower
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.
However
, renewable energy
cost
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costs
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 too much investment. It is essential to understand that after covid 19 epidemic ,the
economicis
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economy is
seriously
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serious
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impacts
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impact
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. The pandemic
lead
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led
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 to a recession
of
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in
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 many businesses,
enterprises
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and enterprises
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 and
high
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a high
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levek
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level
levels
 of unemployment. The authorities need to take
responsibilities
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responsibility
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 to spend
money
 on the
economic
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economy
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 of the country.
In other words
,
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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 the economy of the country is one of the most effective ways to improve the living conditions and standards of citizens. In conclusion,during a period of economic development, it is unnecessary to spend
money
 on space research.
Thus
 , from my
view
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viewpoint
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point
Add a comma
point,
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 we should
plow
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plough
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these payment
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this payment
these payments
show examples
 into ordinary infrastructure and boost the improvement of
economy
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the economy
show examples
 on Earth.

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task achievement
The essay provides a clear opinion, which is a positive element; however, more specific examples are required to enhance the task response. The effectiveness of the argument would be improved by adding relevant data or case studies to support the viewpoint. Avoid general statements and strive to illustrate points with precise, illustrative examples.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical sequence to an extent, transitions between paragraphs and sentences could be smoother. It's important to use cohesive devices and a variety of linking words to make the progression of ideas clearer. Revise the essay structure to follow a more traditional format with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to aid in the readability and coherence of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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