IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart Below gives information about how families in one county spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.

The chart Below gives information about how families in one county spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.
#information #families #county #income
The bar chart illustrates the details of how
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 families used their income in a week in one country in 1968 and 2018
overall
 ,
Add an article
the
show examples
highest
amount
 was recorded for food in 1968 which was 35%
on the other hand
 in 2018 ,
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 value was spent on leisure activities , at nearly 22% . In 1968 ,
Add an article
the
show examples
lowest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
percentage of income was used for fuel and power so a lot of families
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
travelled on
Add an article
a walk
the walk
show examples
walk
Fix the agreement mistake
walks
show examples
for their household activities
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
In 2018 people bought fuel and power
also
minimum
Correct article usage
the minimum
show examples
amount
 , at around 4%. First of all , the Maximum difference in spending
amount
 was recorded for food between 1968 and 2018.
Furthermore
 , housing and clothing and footwear
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
amount
 in 1968 ,at 10%and
also
Capitalize word
Also
show examples
personal goods,
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and household goods were
Change the article
the
show examples
same
amount
 in 1968 , at nearly 8%
secondly
 ,
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
 goods percentage
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
also
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 number
Submitted by n_wara11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Budget allocation
  • Consumer spending
  • Expenditure trends
  • Historical comparison
  • Economic context
  • Inflation adjustments
  • Financial priorities
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spendings
  • Essential necessities
  • Luxury items
  • Technological advancement
  • Income distribution
  • Fiscal habits
  • Societal norms
  • Budgeting differences
  • Monetary trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Spending categories
What to do next:
Look at other essays: