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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart Below gives information about how families in one county spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.

The chart Below gives information about how families in one county spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.
#information #families #county #income
The bar chart illustrates the details of how
to
Correct your spelling
two
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 families used their income in a week in one country in 1968 and 2018
overall
 ,
Add an article
the
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highest
amount
 was recorded for food in 1968 which was 35%
on the other hand
 in 2018 ,
highest
Add an article
the highest
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 value was spent on leisure activities , at nearly 22% . In 1968 ,
Add an article
the
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lowest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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percentage of income was used for fuel and power so a lot of families
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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travelled on
Add an article
a walk
the walk
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walk
Fix the agreement mistake
walks
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for their household activities
and
Correct word choice
apply
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In 2018 people bought fuel and power
also
minimum
Correct article usage
the minimum
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amount
 , at around 4%. First of all , the Maximum difference in spending
amount
 was recorded for food between 1968 and 2018.
Furthermore
 , housing and clothing and footwear
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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were
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
amount
 in 1968 ,at 10%and
also
Capitalize word
Also
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personal goods,
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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 and household goods were
Change the article
the
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same
amount
 in 1968 , at nearly 8%
secondly
 ,
household
Correct article usage
the household
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 goods percentage
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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also
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 number
Submitted by n_wara11 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Budget allocation
  • Consumer spending
  • Expenditure trends
  • Historical comparison
  • Economic context
  • Inflation adjustments
  • Financial priorities
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spendings
  • Essential necessities
  • Luxury items
  • Technological advancement
  • Income distribution
  • Fiscal habits
  • Societal norms
  • Budgeting differences
  • Monetary trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Spending categories
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